


An Sg-1 Holiday

by Akinasky



Series: Gate to Vannas [9]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alternate Universe, Christmas Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Magic, Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-09 05:58:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5528633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akinasky/pseuds/Akinasky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A week away from Vannas Island and all their guardians for a little bit of family feels. Will the magical baddies stay away or will they have to fight to relax for a short while.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Some Time Away

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think this is meant to be a long fic, just some sweet family feels before the next story begins.

** An SG-1 Holiday **

**Short In-Between from the Gate to Vannas Universe**

 

Daniel didn’t think any part of this was a good idea but Jack had been belligerently determined that they were going to do this so here he was smiling and nodding as they pushed the door open on a small cabin in the woods. It was on the edge of Damnation territory and the leader of the Infidels was thrilled they were so close, even if it was just for a couple of days.

It had been almost six months since Malachi’s curse was broken and they had been living with very little excitement for most of that time. Jack decided that it was time to have some time away from the Vannas Island, getting back to basics and just spending some time together. It was the queen who recommended this cabin to stay in, so they were taking a vacation. And Jack decided a good ole fashioned Christmas was in order. As he looked at the small space outside, he hoped this was one of those magic things then they opened the door and stumbled into the grand foyer and he sighed.

Jack gave a thrilled little whoop and Malachi looked at his Papa, little frown on his face. Daniel smiled and leaned over to press a kiss to his son’s head as he ushered all the children into the open space that shouldn’t fit into the small outside structure.

“I love magic sometimes, seriously how do they do this?” Daniel’s husband said excitedly, his blue eyes bouncing off the walls and into the rooms they could see from here. Most days Jack could and would leave magic out of their life but other times, like having a ‘cabin’ that was big enough for their family of seven, magic was all right then.

“It is an illusion on the outside, whoever built it used a compacting spell to allow for more usage of space on a smaller plot of land or possibly to make it less conspicuous,” Zale responded as he pushed his way into the house and immediately started walking towards the stairs off to the right but Jack just said “Aht! Z-Man we are going to sit together and figure out where everyone is settling before we go roaming.”

Their thirteen-going-on-sixteen sullen son rolled his eyes at his Papa’s tone before he dropped his bag on the floor and slumped into a nearby chair in the main part of the first floor which was pretty open. Daniel couldn’t stop the snort at the exchange, Zale and Zada were never disrespectful but sometimes especially lately they were moody, just came with the territory of teens. Janet and Claire bounced happily into the living room and Johnny followed close behind. Greer wasn’t with them despite some frustration on the royal son’s part, he hated to be parted from Johnny but their son had been pleased for a little bit of family time. They had left everyone else behind and that’s what Jack wanted.

So that’s what they were doing.

Jack’s dad wasn’t even with them, he was apparently taking over the house in the Valley, hanging with Jacob and playing some ‘card’ games while they were gone, that’s what he told Daniel anyway.

Daniel loved the idea of being away from all the other things that take them away from each other but he was concerned about being off the protected island, concerned someone would come after them and there would be nothing Jack and Daniel could do to protect the kids, it would end up being the kid’s responsibility to protect and defend, something that Daniel had a desperately hard time swallowing. He didn’t like being Daddy to thirteen year olds because they were only about three years from declaring themselves adults and walking away, leaving Daniel with a twinge in his heart.

Thankfully Claire and Janet seemed to love their youth and were in no hurry to be grown-ups, Johnny and Malachi as well. Jack and Daniel finally dragged the last two bags into the front entry and then stumbled into the living room and flopped together into a small couch with Malachi tucked into Jack’s lap. They were teleported here so there was no jet lag but Malachi was missing his nap and even after six months the youngest still easily tired from trying to play catch up with his body.

“Okay, we are only going to be here for about five days before we are going to head back to the Valley and Pop and our jobs and everything but this trip is about being together as a family. We can do whatever we want within reason and stay together please since we are not at present protected like we are in the valley. No playing outside after dark and be nice please,” the last comment was pointedly aimed at Zada and Zale who just raised twin brown eyebrows in question before Jack shook his head.

“Master bedroom is for Papa, Malachi and me, go pick out your room and come back down and help us get the food and stuff settled please.”

There was a chorus of ‘okays’ then the kids were clambering up the stairs, their voices rising steadily as they looked around and fought over which room was going to who and if dibs worked here. Daniel just shook his head, leaned gently into Jack’s side and pressed his finger into Malachi’s fist. The little boy smiled with all his little teeth and his dual colored eyes shimmered in happiness of having Papa and Daddy with him for the moment.

“Why is this so important right now Jack?” Daniel asked.

“I told you when I said I wanted to go on a vacation.”

Daniel rolled his eyes, his head down turned though he was sure Jack knew he was doing, especially when the arm came around Daniel’s shoulders and Jack flicked at the back of his ear. Daniel hissed a little at the slight discomfort and poked Jack in the side, where his age was starting to show just a little in a little pudge in his belly. The fleshy deposits where Malachi got his milk from for the first six months of his life were now tightened up once again and there was nothing remaining to say Jack had once carried Malachi in his body.

“Tell me again please?” Daniel finally asked.

“It’s been so long since it was just our family if that’s ever actually happened. I see the Z-twins growing before our eyes and becoming teenagers and Malachi’s accelerated growth, I just feel like we are missing our chance to just be together. We’re running out of time.”

Daniel shifted so he could look at Jack, it was easy to recognize the anxiety there. He saw the fear and how that had compelled Jack to do this. He had been scared, they both were, when there was nothing to do for Malachi except help him through each of the symptoms. He shifted and wrapped an arm around Jack’s shoulders and the other was still held in Malachi’s fist. He pressed a kiss into Jack’s mouth and pressed his forehead into Jack’s temple as the Papa stared down at their son. “We’re not out of time love, I promise you are going to have years more with our children.”

“And you Danny, do we have time?” Jack whispered and Daniel might have been a little concerned but his lips were tilting up a little in a smirk but Daniel pressed another kiss to his cheek before he spoke.

“I promised you all my years Colonel Jack, I am not about to back out now when are only a couple years from having our teens start becoming more independent and maybe falling in love and making us grandpapas.”

“Because then we will only have four children,” Jack said with a snort and a shake of his head.

“No we’ll have six still but some of them will be making a mess of their adulthood and we just get to be loudly judging in our slightly quieter house.”

Jack snorted at that then gripped Daniel tightly to him, smiling as he pressed a wet and open-mouthed kiss to Daniel’s lips.

Malachi mumbled a little, done with being not the center of attention for too long. Daniel chuckled, leaning down and pressed a kiss to their son’s head. Malachi’s hair was staying dark blonde for the moment and he didn’t know who the kid was going to resemble but he was still one of the most beautiful children Daniel had ever seen, because he wasn’t just their son. He was something unique, he was their Spark.

 

Zale got settled in one of the rooms upstairs and watched as Johnny unpacked some of his books and clothes quietly. He couldn’t help but watch his little brother sometimes, he was a wonder, like Malachi. They were so weak in some ways but they were resilient, something that Dad and Pop had always taught them, magic wasn’t everything. It didn’t make things easier, it didn’t make everything good and happy. Magic was a tool and it was one that Zale enjoyed using but when he looked at his fathers, and he looked to Johnny he knew they were right. His family was the strength that he needed.

 _“Such heavy thoughts Brother,”_ Johnny whispered into his mind. Zale knew Johnny couldn’t read his mind; they could only read surface thoughts when they were touching each other. He was just perceptive and he knew his brother.

“I think all the heavy thoughts these days, I think it is part of growing up.”

Johnny chuckled, the noiseless laugh still a cheerful thing to see, _“Then I am pleased I am years from such a thing.”_

Zale chuckled as well. At nine, Johnny was incredibly mature for his age. They all were, after everything and sometimes Zale hates the creature in his head because it took away his chance to really be a kid, to have innocence of a child. “I think you always had it right JJ. As long as we have Dad and Pop and each other, we’re going to make it through anything. They always said it but it was something that I believed because I was a kid. Now its different, we have made it through so much together now.”

_“Why does it bother you then to be here and together?”_

Zale shook his head, “It doesn’t, I just find myself with a wealth of emotion and I don’t know how to deal with it. It is as if someone else in in control, not Xylander, but something new.”

There was a gentle rap against the door and they both looked over to see Daddy Daniel at the door. He was giving one of those gentle smiles that Zale always knew came with thinking how much Daddy loved them, he always looked like that when he was thinking about them.

“I didn’t want to eavesdrop Z-Man, if you want to talk though, I’m here for you and so is Papa.”

Zale sighed and shored up his defenses, not against his Dad but against the pull of feelings he was constantly tethered to these days. “I know Dad, I am just sick of always feeling out of control.”

Dad walked into the room and pressed a hand to Zale’s shoulder and he knew his father wanted to tuck him close and cuddle with him but he was holding back in difference to Zale’s new ‘manly pride’. It was strange to be close to his father’s height, that growth seemed to have happened so quickly he was constantly having what Papa called ‘growing pains’ and it seemed to be normal unlike what they dealt with for Malachi’s curse. “There is very little in life you can actually control Z, let the rest of it go especially right now. We came here to be a family without all that stuff from home okay?”

Zale nodded and watched as Dad turned and ruffled Johnny’s head then kissed the younger boy’s forehead before he moved on to the slightly larger room down the hall where Zada and the twins were sleeping for the duration. The third room was for Pop and Dad as well as Malachi, despite the fact that the youngest of his siblings was physically about two years old; he had only been alive for about nine months. Zale’s parents were still very leery about leaving Malachi on his own and none of the Jackson-O’Neill blamed them for it since all of them were very protective of their littlest brother.

“We should go look around outside, maybe do some training.”

Johnny just rolled his eyes and shook his head, _“Or we could play a game.”_

Zale snorted but went back to grabbing some of his belongings, sifting through until he grabbed his wooden sword and walked out so he could ask Zada to spar with him. It was a part of their schoolwork to maintain good weapon training and hand-to-hand combat as well but they were not required much in the way of hand-to-hand just yet. Pop and Uncle Teal’c were two of their teachers but Zale knew that his father was taking it easy after everything that happened with Malachi and he knew he was getting rusty.

He walked down the hallway, passing Dad giving the man a quick smile. Dad smiled back and opened his arms and Zale couldn’t help but fold himself into Dad’s arms for a quick embrace. Dad pressed a quick kiss to the side of Zale’s head then quickly released him again leaving Zale sniffling a little at the easy comfort before he coughed and knocked on the door and found his sisters all in their room.

“Zada, you want to go outside and spar?” he asked.

“Z-Man, we can to have a vacation, not spar,” Zada admonished him gently.

“Zale, why do you want to fight?” Claire asked curiously as she grabbed Janet’s hand and dragged her twin out of the room. He was sure they were going to go downstairs and play with Malachi; it was one of their favorite pastimes. He looked back at Zada.

“Was that a no?” he asked, brow raised.

She snickered, “No. Let me get my sword and we can train near the house. You know Daddy and Papa are not going to let us go much father.” He looked over at his sister and realized again that she was looking a little more like her bio-mom but there was a lot of Papa and Dad in her, physically though she was looking more and more like a young woman then a girl. It was odd in many ways to see her in such a way, knowing that some day she was going to find a boy or a girl that would be her partner and she would leave and become someone on her own, not just his beloved sister and twin.

“We can make it work,” Zale said with a shrug as he released the thoughts then walked out of the room and headed downstairs. He walked by the front room where Malachi was sitting between Dad’s outstretched legs, wobbling on his chubby little legs with Janet and Claire in front of him, praising him and cheering as he took one wobbly step then another, without releasing Dad’s hands. Pop was sitting on the couch watching with a small smile. Zale understood why they were all so happy to see him doing any of those things; it was impossible for Zale not to appreciate the fact that his youngest brother was walking a little at a time. For Zada, Janet Claire and himself all of those little moments had happened so effortlessly and in high speed, it was hard to see the pain and anxiety in their fathers as they all worked hard getting Malachi up to speed.

“Dad. Pop. Can Zada and I go out and spar?” he asked gently.

Pop nodded and Dad looked up and smiled, “Stay close Z.”

“Will do Dad,” he said and started walking out of the house, pausing when he heard Pop whispering to Dad.

“I miss being Papa, he’s getting so big,” Zale could hear the sigh in his father’s voice.

“I know love,” Dad responded and Zale sighed, feeling guilt despite the fact that there was nothing to feel guilty over. He walked out the door and flopped down on the top step and dropped his practice sword down on the floor and pressed his fingers into his eyes then ran his fingers through his hair in frustrated movements. The door opened behind him and he pulled himself together then realized it was Zada and just sighed.

“Just talk to them Z,” Zada said with a scoff.

Zale sighed again, “I don’t want them to feel bad about things. It’s not their fault.”

“Come on, let’s spar and we can get some of that stupid knocked out of your head.”

Zale laughed and got up with some help from his sister before they moved off to the side of the house and started sparring, letting all the weird things in his head, all the hard times and pain of recent circumstances slip away in the clash of sword on sword, and the heaving breath and the strength in his limbs. It was all so simple and exactly what he needed.


	2. Christmas Celebration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas with the Jackson-O'Neill's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its a couple hours late but here is a little Christmas cheer for my favorite boys and their kids.

Jack pressed up against Daniel’s back gently in the kitchen as his partner put the finishing touches on the Christmas-esque dinner they were cobbling together. They were having some sort of bird; Jack didn’t care to remember the actual name of it. It tasted like chicken. They were also having steamed vegetables and baked fruit pies for desert. There were a few other parts of the meal, rolls and cold cuts but it wasn’t like the Christmas meals with his family from his childhood in a lot of ways. In all the ways that matter though, having his family here and safe and together, that was real and remembered.

He wouldn’t have minded having his father here but at the same time, he _needed_ this time with the kids and Daniel, they had gone through so much and despite what Daniel said, he felt like he was running out of time, especially with Zale and Zada.

Zada was still very child-like but she was growing out of it quickly but he was still Papa who she could curl up with on the couch when she needed him. Zale seemed to need them less and less. That was how it felt anyway.

“Did you unpack the presents?” Daniel asked.

Jack nodded against the crook of Daniel’s neck, “I wish we had time for a tree and the decorations and everything but it’s not something they are going to miss right?”

Daniel shook his head, “Jack we don’t have Christmas every year, they get gifts several times a year not to mention all the things they get from other people in the Valley. They are not unloved by us; this is just another day for them. It is one filled with ridiculous traditions from our world, not theirs.”

Jack nodded again, pressing another kiss to Daniel’s stubbly chin, wishing they might have the privacy for him to press kisses and touch his husband all over but while Malachi was still in the room with them, Daniel didn’t really like doing anything extensive.

Daniel finally got sick of being leaned on so Jack released him, moving to the side so he could help set the table. He knew that Zale and Zada were still sparring outside but he figured if he went out and got them inside they would have time to shower the sweat and filthy before they sat down so he dropped things gently on the table, checking that Janet, Claire and Johnny were still doing okay with Malachi in the front room before turning towards the front door. He could hear the grunts and growls of his two eldest fighting before he opened the door. They were around the corner of the house, and it was no-holds barred grappling that Uncle Teal’c and Pop had taught them for when they were at the end of their rope. He didn’t understand how Zale and Zada had gotten to that point except for the fact that Zale seemed to need the grappling to work through whatever he was dealing with. He was sure a good chunk of it was puberty, that wasn’t a good time for anyone but he didn’t know how much of it was everything they’d gone through in the last two years and Zale was just hitting the end of his long overdue rope.

“Hey guys, can you go get cleaned up and ready for dinner,” he called out.

Zale used Zada’s distraction to sweep her legs out from under her and took her to the ground, something flashed in that moment then Zale had her pinned and an arm across her throat. She was fighting his hold and he didn’t let her go, “Submit!” he shouted and Jack stepped down quickly and moved over to her and he pulled Zale off his sister. He felt a snap of power press against his chest and kept the hold even as he hissed in momentary pain.

“Zale, knock it off.”

His eldest son slumped after a second and Jack looked down and found Zada not in pain, in fact she just looked confused and flustered. She scurried back as Zale wrapped an arm around Jack’s hand and held on like he was drowning and Jack was his only lifeline. He figured now was not the time to talk about it so he sent them both in the house to clean up before he turned to look around the woods, a habit born of need and years in the service. He shook off the slight pain where Zale shocked him, the boy had done worse in the past so he wasn’t to worried about the possibility of there being side effects but he was concerned about the erratic behavior that seemed to be nipping at the heels of Zale’s emotional mood swings.

He walked back inside after a few minutes to find Daniel putting the last bits of food on the table, Malachi resting on his hip. Janet and Claire were chattering in Latin as they helped their Daddy put plates and silverware on the table. Johnny was skipping around the table with cups in his hand. Jack couldn’t help but smile at the domestic bliss laid out before him. He watched as Zada wandered down the stairs, her long curly dark hair loose and barely dry from her shower. Zale must be upstairs in the shower still so he moved to take Malachi as the little boy smiled up at him.

“Hey baby boy, is your daddy making the best dinner ever?” he cooed. Malachi clapped and giggled as Jack snuggled his face into Malachi’s neck. “You need any help, Danny?”

Daniel smiled, “No it’s all ready. You want to get Malachi’s food ready? I cut up some food nice and small for him.”

Jack walked over and pressed a kiss to the side of Daniel’s face, “Best Daddy ever.”

Daniel chuckled and they both turned as Zale walked down, his hair damp and loose around his shoulders. Daniel tended to cut the boys’ hair pretty short but Zale had wanted it longer so they left it to grow, it made him look a lot like a young Danny. Jack knew they needed to spend part of this little vacation talking things out and finding out what their children needed now. He turned to the kitchen, not calling attention to the slump in Zale’s shoulders or the guilt all over his face, Daniel would see it too but there was no reason to make a big deal of it right now. Jack found a plate of food for Malachi, picked it up from the table and walked back into the living room. He settled in his chair, putting his youngest son into the high chair then watched as everyone settled into his or her chairs. He let Malachi start picking pieces of food off his plate, stuffing them into his mouth as he watched as Daniel sat at the other end of the table and started.

“I know we have had some hard times in the last year or so, I know that we have all been hurt and sometimes been left alone too long in our pain but I wanted us to be together here. I wanted to celebrate a little Christmas because it was always the one holiday when my whole family was together and we put aside everything. There was always presents and good food but mostly it was so we could be together. I hated that we haven’t done it in a while and this is me saying to all of you that Daddy and I are here for you and we love you so much.”

Jack stopped because he didn’t think he was making it through anything else he’d hoped to say so he looked to Daniel who smiled one of those little sunshine smiles of his and continued, “Its time for a reevaluation of time management again for us. We have spent so much time surviving, its time to live again, spend time playing games and learning or whatever we want to do as long as we can be together. Zada and Zale are getting close to the Vannas age of adulthood and testing for emancipation, we would just like to spend as much time here as the Jackson-O’Neill’s before everything changes again.”

“Daddy, we’re not going anywhere,” Zada whispered, reaching over to press a hand over Daniel’s hand.

“Maybe you will, you are going to grow up and go on dates and want to get married and have your own space, these are the things we want for you, and Papa and I are just asking that we get to enjoy the time we have left before you figure out you want those things.”

Jack looked around the table and smiled because all the kids were nodding and holding hands with someone. Jack reached out and pressed a hand over Zale’s wrist and his son flinched a little but just turned his hand so he could grip Jack’s wrist as well. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to Zale’s shoulder and he felt when Zale’s head touched the top of his gray head. He didn’t know what it was like to have such careless affection constantly showers on his children, it was something Daniel had been teaching him since the kids were little. When he moved away and sat up, it was to catch Daniel’s damp gaze as they shared a look.

“We can do anything right?” Zale muttered.

“What?” Daniel asked gently, Jack knew he knew what their son said but he wanted to hear it again. They have been saying those words to the children and each other for a very long time and honestly the last couple of years they had proven the words true time and time again. There had been pain and close calls but they were still together and Zale needed to know it more than any of them right now.

Zale took in a deep breath then spoke clearly, “We can do anything, survive anything as long as we’re together.”

“Yay!” Claire and Janet shouted together and everyone chuckled, leaving Malachi confused until Jack ruffled his hair gently and the baby went back to grinning and shoving food into his mouth.

“Let’s eat some food then move on to the presents portion on the evening,” Jack said and he rubbed his hands together gleefully, “Everything looks amazing Danny.”

Daniel smiled then they did indeed dig in, demolishing the food in short order. Daniel spoke to all the children, in one language then switching into another. Jack allowed the foreign chatter to skip and slide around him and through him. He listened to the happy bursts of words as well as the laughter. Jack watched Daniel, he watched Zada and Zale and the rest of the family and there was a moment when everyone’s shoulders dropped. It wasn’t some magical moment, just between chatting about Daniel’s classes and something else. He couldn’t have said what it was other than just utter contentment at being here together.

Jack savored that; he took it as a sign that he did the right thing by bringing them all here despite Daniel’s reticence and the Queen’s desire that they stay on the island.

After the dinner was eaten and the dessert demolished, Jack resettled everyone in the living room and Daniel handed out the gifts. There wasn’t much, just some small things for each of the children. Jack watched the children rip through the paper wrappings to reveal the gifts. Jack knew that Zale and Zada had bow and arrow sets, something they would start training with for their self-defense training. Janet and Claire received practice swords and real daggers and Johnny received a journal. They were not unique presents, Zale and Zada had received daggers and play swords only a couple years ago, they were made for them by the Vannas trainers but the children all smiled and said thank you for them. Jack reached down and pulled out a small box and handed it to Daniel who smiled and handed one back.

Jack pulled his present open to find his dog tags and looked up to frown at Daniel, he had stopped wearing them a long time ago when he no longer needed them. He reached in and lifted them into his hands and found the inscription was not his name and number from when he was in the Air Force. His gaze snapped up to Daniel to catch the small smile there before looking back down and the new pieces of metal, the new inscription. One side read: _Brigadier General Jonathon “Jack” O’Neill-Jackson_ in small etched letters that were a little more unique than the script that would normally be on his tags. He looked at the other side of the first tag to see the reading: _Beloved husband to Daniel Jackson-O’Neill._ He figured it shouldn’t be a surprise when he looked at the other tag to find the names of the girls on one side and the boys on the other side. On both sides it declared: _Proud Papa to my children._ He stood up and walked over to where Daniel was sitting with his present in his lap and picking gently at the side of the box in displaced anxiety.

“Did you like it?” Daniel asked, strangely self-conscious despite the twelve or more years they’d been together, “I shouldn’t have messed with your tags but they survived the fire, I didn’t want them to just go away and I thought this would be another way you could wear them. You don’t really belong to the Air Force anymore.”

Jack stopped his muttering the only way he could, dragging him to his feet and pressing a kiss to Daniel’s stammering lips, knocking the words from his lover’s mouth. He felt when the tickle in his eyes became a tear that slipped down between their cheeks and when he pulled away a little, just enough to whisper into Daniel’s mouth, “I love them Danny. They meant nothing before, now they are everything to me. These names belong to those who mean the world to me.”

Daniel sighed in clear relief as he pressed his nose into Jack’s neck and gripped Jack close to him. “You’re not the only one who doesn’t want to lose anyone here, k?”

Jack nodded and pulled Daniel back to sit in the small couch with him while the kids grinned at them like crazy loons. Jack wondered when they were going to start rolling their eyes or groaning at their fathers’ public displays of affection, and he kind of couldn’t wait for that so he could wink or grin at them before he pressed himself close to Daniel all over again. He tapped a finger on Daniel’s box while he slipped the tags over his head again and felt as they settled over his heart. It was interesting that they had similar ideas even if it wasn’t quite the same thing. Daniel opened the box and found the simple chain inside and looked over to Jack in surprise. “I’m not really the silver chain kind of stud Jack,” he said with a confused laugh.

Jack reached into the box and pulled out the simple chain, it had all their children’s names etched onto the links then he pointed to the tattoo on Daniel’s ring finger and smiled, “I got it from Akina, it is like the rings we where, it is a binding spell one made to bind you again to me and the children. It is not about watching them or me, it’s about pulling us as close and we can be in magic and in life.”

Daniel smiled, a brilliant look if he ever saw one. He held out his right wrist and Jack wobbled a little as he linked the chain around Daniel’s wrist. Once the circle was complete the chain melded into Daniel’s skin shifting and growing a little then the thin tattooed line grew and swirled around his wrist as if the chain was wrapping round and around until it stopped moving and there was all their names in cursive little lines around Daniel’s arm. At one end was Daniel and Jack’s names as well. All the children came over to run fingers over each of the names while the grinned and hugged their fathers.

Daniel shifted when they were all done and pressed a kiss to Jack’s cheek, “Thank you Jack, I’m a little surprised that you wanted a magical gift though even for me.”

“You don’t wear jewelry,” Jack said with a shrug. “And I wanted you to have us all with you no matter what, even in such a small way.”

Daniel closed his eyes and took a deep breath, Jack watched as something happened inside his husband. His face softened and his fingers rubbed along each name on his arm before it settled over his heart. He took a deep breath, “I can feel it here, in my heart. I can feel all the love you all feel for me, like I am touching each of you. There is nothing more, nothing less. Its just love.”

Jack smiled and pressed another kiss to Daniel’s shoulder. The children came over and hugged their Dad and told him in words how much they loved him. He could hear Zada’s murmured words that she was going to go anywhere. He heard Zale tell his Daddy how much he loved him, how proud he was to call Daniel his father. Jack just sat there and listened until all the children lifted their gifts from the floor, cleaning up from the unwrapping before they bid their fathers goodnight and headed for the stairs. Malachi was holding the stuffed animal he’d received where he was sitting on the couch, propped by the arm of the couch.

“Well I think that was a rousing success for day one of our little excursion here,” Jack said and Daniel smiled with a nod. They cleaned up the kitchen and table, tucked dishes into the sink then headed to bed.

There was a lot to talk through, a lot to do before they would all be settled if that was ever really going to happen but they were together and that’s the only thing Jack had ever wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know where this piece is going, I think its just going to be the week of time when they are away from the Valley. We shall see, the last time I wrote a short Christmas piece it turned out to be 60k words.


	3. Day Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel and Zale go for a walk

Daniel woke, feeling refreshed and relaxed for the first time in ages. He hadn’t even realized how tense he had been until it all just fell away. He sat up and realized Jack wasn’t in bed and Malachi wasn’t in his crib. He frowned, Jack was still the early riser in the relationship but he rarely left without Daniel. He shuffled off the bed, slipping his feet into the slippers and grabbed the robe that was laid over the edge of the bed. He wrapped it around himself, comforted from the warmth over his undershirt and sleep pants. He walked out of the room and downstairs where he could hear Jack talking to someone, probably Malachi given the happy funny tone he was using. It was the tone of voice he always used with the kids when they were younger.

He smiled as he walked down the rest of the way and found Jack in the kitchen with Malachi in his high chair. He looked over to the living room to find Janet and Claire in there with Johnny. Zada and Zale were nowhere in sight at the moment but part of vacation was not having a wake up call and schedules to follow. For now he wasn’t going to bother them, Zale had been so emotional the day before and he needed time clearly.

So he walked into the kitchen, hearing the happy baby sounds coming from his son in the high chair so with a smile, he walked over to kiss Malachi on the head before he turned and hugged Jack from behind. The retired general seemed to be making a mountain of pancakes, a plateful of scrambled eggs, with ham and bacon. “You need any help Jack?” he asked as he reached down to swipe a small pancake to munch.

“Nope, but Malachi’s food is ready if you want to feed him first.”

Daniel took the proffered plate then moved to sit next to their youngest child, and helped him to start eating. He watched as the other children showed their faces one at a time to get some food. Daniel smiled at them, giving them kisses and hugs when they came over to him and Malachi.

“What are we going to do today?” Janet asked, between bites.

“Whatever we want to do, we got to stay close unless we’re together,” Daniel said with a smile. He knew that Jack didn’t have much of an agenda either since this was a vacation of sorts. It was strange to think they were so far from the Vannas, Sam and Teal’c and everyone but at the same time it was liberating not having all those people a part of their morning, noon and night. Without Sam and Teal’c, they didn’t have the extra weirdness between Jack and Sam. Without Zarkina and her royal family, Jack and Daniel could be together without all the extra magic getting in the way. Without Greer, Johnny was just their son and that was all Daniel needed and he knew that Johnny was destined to be a big part of Greer’s life and there was nothing he could do to stop that but here, for a little while, he could just be Johnny Jackson-O’Neill.

He looked up from his breakfast when Zale and Zada came down looking rumpled from sleep and relaxed as well. Daniel wanted to get up and kiss Jack for forcing this particular issue, just to see his eldest children calm for the first time in far too long.

They settled to eat some breakfast and Daniel allowed the kids to decide whether or not they wanted to have language training that morning, mostly it was for show anymore because they were fluent in five languages now. This was vacation after all. It didn’t stop him from preening when they started speaking in Aramaic, they weren’t talking about anything important really, just day to day living of their friends back home and what they were learning in school. Daniel listened with one ear though most of his attention remained on Zale who seemed to need this more than anyone else. He ate his breakfast and watched his son while Malachi finished as well. Jack swooped in and cleaned up Malachi before releasing the little one to crawl away on the floor. Daniel helped Jack clean everything up while the children wandered off to get changed for the day.

The fathers were left alone after a moment and Daniel looked over to Jack, “I think I would like to take some time with Zale this morning, go for a walk with him and ask him about what’s going on.”

Jack smiled, “Sounds like a plan, I was going to stick close to here, maybe play some games with the others. Did you want to take Malachi with you, we have the stroller.”

Daniel smiled and nodded, leaning over and pressed a kiss to Jack’s shoulder before he moved away, leaving his love to finish the job in the kitchen. He would gladly take on lunch if he had the chance this morning to spend some time with his first son. Zale was his first foray into the world of parenting, of fatherhood, Zada too but his eldest daughter seemed to be her happy normal self much of the time. Zale needed him and he was going to find out how he could help, even if it meant he was just able to listen.

He found his way up to the boys’ room and knocked, hearing Zale inside granting entrance. Johnny was already dressed and slipped past Daniel, hugging him before he raced down to the kitchen again. Daniel smiled and was able to make one pass over Johnny’s soft hair before the boy was gone.

“Hey Z, did you want to go for a walk with Malachi and me? Keep us safe and we can talk for a little while?” Daniel asked gently, allowing there to be room for Zale to tell him no if that’s what he wanted. He didn’t think Zale would say it because he was too much like Daniel for his own good sometimes. He was selfless to a fault and would do what he must to be of service to everyone but himself sometimes.

“Sure Dad,” Zale said and though he didn’t sound as resigned as Daniel was expecting he didn’t sound excited at the prospect either. Daniel could see why Jack had said something the day before about the ‘Pop’ thing, Zale had stopped calling him Daddy a month before and it still stung a little though he didn’t want Zale to feel bad about growing up, he had the right to.

“Meet you downstairs when you’re ready?” Daniel asked again, giving him one more out. When Zale looked over his shoulder with his patented ‘Jack’ look that said ‘knock it off, I am coming with’, Daniel just smiled and walked back out of the room. If it wasn’t for the fact that he figured Zale really needed some alone time, he would offer to take Johnny to but that was not the plan for this morning anyway. Maybe he and the boys could all do something later, or they could go with Jack. Daniel just shrugged, figuring they had time to figure it out.

By the time he had Malachi tucked and strapped into his stroller, with a stuffed toy gripped in his fingertips and some snacks in a small bag slung over Daniel’s shoulder, Zale was coming down the stairs with his sword at his waist and daggers in his boots. There was nothing about him that said little boy anymore and Daniel sighed, thinking about that. He shouldn’t have to lose his little boy at thirteen and he wasn’t, not really because despite the fact that Vannas can essential declare themselves independent any time after thirteen due to the way the Vannas lived and raised their children, Zale wasn’t going to do the same. He had said more than once that he had no intention of leaving but at the same time, Daniel couldn’t help but feel he’d already lost his son to the big bad world of adulthood.

“Dad,” Zale admonished gently and he shook himself out of it, clearly his face was telling the story for his heart and that wasn’t going to help Zale.

“You ready?” he asked with false cheer that quickly became real when Zale smiled and he saw himself in that expression. He looked down at Malachi who was staring up at them with his fist shoved halfway in his mouth, sucking slobber into his fist.

Zale called out, “See you later Pop.”

Jack walked into the entry from the living room to smile as Zale walked outside and Daniel smiled to his husband, looking him up and down for a moment appreciating the view. Jack grinned, “See something you like Doctor?”

“Always Colonel,” he returned, a little more breathless then he planned as he moved over and kissed Jack on the lips before he walked out the front door. Zale was there at the base of the steps to lift the stroller down then they were on their way. They walked into the trees, along a well-worn path that made the strolled move more smoothly.

They walked in silence, Daniel just listening to the quiet of the forest and the cooing of his toddler son. Daniel wouldn’t mind letting Malachi out but he still wasn’t completely solid on flat surfaces and the roots would trip him easily. After about three minutes, Zale sighed and said, “Did you want to talk Dad because you know how I feel about anxious silence!”

“About the way I feel about it,” Daniel chortled, he knew his son couldn’t deal with the silence, that he would do what he must to fill it if there was something to say and for Jacksons’ there was always something to say.

“I don’t know what to say or how to talk about this with you and Pop. I feel like I can’t do anything right and all I do is feel feel feel!” the last word was hissed out angrily and Daniel reached out and pressed his hand to Zale’s arm for a moment in comfort before he released him again. Zale was first and foremost a protector these days and he wouldn’t want to feel awkwardly held back in case something were to happen. It was still why Jack and Daniel rarely held hands on walks unless they knew the area well.

Suddenly Zale stopped in the walkway and Daniel looked around, searching for the possible foe that his son was sensing then Zale’s arms were suddenly around his chest though if he grew a little more, they around were around his shoulders and he was sniffling into Daniel’s neck, the warm panting breath making Daniel’s heart clench as he wrapped his arms around Zale’s neck and pressed a kiss to his son’s head. “It’s going to be okay Z, growing up is tough sometimes. I know you feel like all you are doing is feeling right now but you’re not alone my sweet boy.”

Zale sighed, a little annoyed huff escaping at the endearment and Daniel smiled into his hair before he pulled back and pressed another kiss to Zale’s forehead and pressed a warm palm into his cheek and neck. “I don’t want to grow up so fast Daddy, I don’t want to have someone in my head dictating when I should be a grownup and when I should leave you and Papa. I don’t want it but there is nothing I seem able to do about it.”

Daniel shook his son gently, “But you can Z! Xylander is your partner, not your boss. Be a child for as long as you want, Papa and I want you to be with us forever if we could keep you but I know that’s not going to happen. You are going to figure this out.”

Zale nodded but he looked down and away from Daniel and he wondered what all this was really about, “I don’t want to disappoint you and Papa,” he finally whispered.

“Zale you could never stop us from loving you, maybe every once in a while you might do the wrong thing but that will not stop us from loving you or accepting you. What’s this about?”

“I was grappling with Zada, something snapped a little and I was so angry and then I zapped Papa.”

Daniel sighed and wondered why Jack hadn’t told him but then Jack was in vacation mode at the moment. Daniel shrugged it off since Jack was a grown up and he would talk to Daniel when he felt it was necessary. For now, he had an emotional pre-teen to deal with. It was strange to think so many years had passed that he was even the father of one pre-teen, let alone two of them. “Clearly if he didn’t think it was important enough to tell me about it, it couldn’t have been that bad. He’s not hurt or cursed but you know better than to react with power instead of words Zale,” he scolded gently and Zale nodded.

“I don’t have the words for what I feel and what’s happening inside me,” Zale whispered.

Daniel reached down and grabbed his son’s hands into his and shook them a little so he would look up and when Zale’s bright blue eyes met the twin shade of his father’s eyes Daniel spoke, “Show me like you have been doing since you were a child. Nothing you are feeling is too big for me, it’s all worth it for me to know how to be here for you Z.”

Zale nodded, tightened his fingers around Daniel’s and he sank into the feelings that weren’t his own. He’d learned from years with magical children and their abilities to share their emotions, to compartmentalize when he needed to. Daniel took a deep breath and released everything except the desire to be there for his son. He let it go just in time to sink into the torrent of Zale’s emotions. They were turbulent as a storm at the center of his heart and soul. Daniel felt whipped by the wind of his sorrow and guilt over the things he’d done to survive, the burn of fear in the back of his throat and in the pit of his stomach at the thought of watching any of his family die and the overwhelming desire to just be a kid.

Zale pulled his hands away, leaving Daniel suddenly alone in his head and knew he’d only been feeling his son’s emotions for less than a minute but being trapped and drowning it in made it feel like eternity. He reached out and tugged his son close again for another hug, “Oh Zale, you are not alone. Papa and I are with you and your sisters and brothers. This isn’t always what it will be like, trust me please on this.”

Zale nodded into his body, hands gripped around Daniel’s back for a moment before Malachi made his displeasure at being ignored known to the world so Daniel and Zale broke off with a watery laugh and continued their walk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am intrigued at a possible plot bunny that scampered through my mind about this family and this story, I don't know if I am going to follow the bunny but this little ficlet might very well lead somewhere I wasn't planning = best fics ever!!


	4. Story Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little more family fluff, seriously I would feel bad except I don't and family feels are my favorite!!

After seeing Daniel, Zale and Malachi out the front door, Jack was left to wander back to the living room where Zada was sitting on the floor with her younger sisters and brother. She was holding one of the big books that they brought with them everywhere. In a world of Daniel Jackson and his addiction to books and history it wasn’t ever a surprise to find half of what Daniel dragged around in his bag was books but this book was special. About a year after Zale and Zada were born Daniel woke up one day and decided that their stories should be written down here in this time and this world. They had been using SG-1 stories for bedtime from pretty much day one and he’d been writing those down but this one day Daniel figured their story should be told as well.

Jack remembered with a smile, laughing at the scattered happiness strung across Daniel’s features at the thought of writing out their story from the beginning, there would be snippets of adventures but it would be about _them._ Jack asked him why they would need it because their story had begun the moment they were dosed by Love and her lackeys and Daniel had given him this ‘don’t be dumb’ look that Jack couldn’t help but smile over, even now. He remembered a clear as if it were yesterday when Daniel walked over to him and pressed a finger lightly into Jack’s chest and his lips a breath away from Jack’s mouth when he whispered, “The first time you wanted more than friendship was when Jack?”

Jack flushed at the time, partially due to Daniel’s proximity but also thinking back to the moment when Daniel appeared from the crowd around him after Jack had left him aboard Apophis’s mothership to die. He’d known in that moment that he’d left something with Daniel to die, a piece of his heart which had been miraculously returned to him in the Gate Room. He’d wanted to kiss Daniel, instead he could only touch his neck and pull him close, whispering ‘space monkey’ in his ear when he would have given anything to say ‘don’t leave me ever again’.

So he understood the importance of that history between them and that was the book Zada was reading from because it was one of the few things that survived the fire set by Lust. Daniel had it at work with him and forgot it there, then someone from the castle (the queen of course) borrowed it because she was a creeper when it came to Daniel and Jack’s love story and she gave it back to them about a week after the fire. Daniel cried and hugged her while Jack griped about why she had it in the first place before hugging her too.

Zada’s voice brought him back to the story their children they had been hearing their whole lives, apparently it was one the twins and Johnny weren’t sick of yet. “The Colonel moved quickly across the floor, sliding as quiet as the Spec Ops man that he was, grabbing the gun before the scientist decided to do something with it after all. Colonel didn’t pause as he gripped the scientist close, one hand pressed into his neck before moving to the back of his head as the scientist wept. This was one of the first times, one of those moments for the scientist where he realized there was more to this than friendship for him and then there was one more reason to cry. He would forever have to hide the truth from the soldier because he would do anything to keep the Colonel in his life.”

“Papa why did Daddy think he had to hide what he felt for you? Love is all there is in the world,” Claire asked, throwing her arms out when she said ‘love’ and almost smacking Zada in the process. The eldest sister just shifted out of the way and grabbed Claire’s hand gently so she wouldn’t do it again.

Jack smiled, “Baby girl, you know this story better than me some days, you tell me?”

Claire removed her hand from Zada’s gentle grip, climbed off the floor and bounced over to him where he was moving towards the couch. His daughter helped him sit down on the couch, even though he didn’t need the help. He was creaking with old age, cresting somewhere close to sixty-two at the moment but due to the magic in the Vannas world as well as the magical pregnancy had in some ways rejuvenated him according to Erica, especially when the curse had been broken in him then also in Malachi. He didn’t know if his children were helping with that but they were fine so he was too.

When he was sitting Claire stood in front of him and he smiled, thinking about how much she looked like Daniel so much of the time but right now she was all Jack, the showmanship sometimes that she could ratchet up to ten in about thirty seconds flat. She held her hands in front of her for a moment then smiled and began her silly retelling of Daddy and Papa’s love for each other.

“Daddy couldn’t tell you Papa because your military is stupid and shortsighted about men who love each other as well as women loving each other,” Jack laughed at the harsh judgement of the military and DADT because Daniel said that all the time when the twins were little, especially after they came back from the past, there was more to the little rant and he was sure Claire knew the whole thing, but she continued. “Daddy was scared that Papa would never love him just like Papa was sure Daddy deserved more.” She giggled and continued, “Silly Papa.”

Jack rolled his eyes dramatically, “Well Papa is a worn down, cranky Colonel and Daddy is beautiful and young, brave and smart.”

Claire shook her head, wistfulness filling her bright blue eyes for a moment, “When you love someone like that, it doesn’t matter. Plus Papa is brave and funny and knows that Daddy is the greatest Daddy ever.”

Jack shrugged, “That’s clear for everyone to see though.”

“When Daddy and Papa came to the future with Uncle Teal’c and Aunt Sam, Love knew what was there beneath the surface and showed it to them both. They got married and lived happily ever after with all of us.”

She spun around in a dancing circle and Jack held out his arms and she jumped up on the couch and cuddled into Jack’s side and he looked down at Zada who was smiling with that look of adoration she had sometimes when she looked at Jack or Daniel. She was getting to be a young woman and he hoped that had a few more years before that look ended up being gazed towards someone else, someone she might see the end of her days with. For now though she was a big sister and a beautiful daughter.

“Is this what we are going to do all day? Talk about Daddy and Papa?” he asked gently.

Claire giggled, “It’s our favorite story Papa.”

“Why? We have not always lived happily ever after, have you forgotten when we went back in time, not to mention the last two years. Zada, what about you?”

“Papa,” she crooned then with a click of her tongue and answered, “Happily ever after isn’t in the moments, it’s in the choice to live and love each other and us. This is our favorite story; mine too, because you are always together and there is nothing you wouldn’t do for each other and us. The last year proved that more than anything. We are not just surviving here Papa, we live together and that is happily ever after, not the lack of trouble.”

Jack smiled to his daughter and tilted his head towards the rest of them and they wasted no time climbing off the floor and clambering onto the couch with him. Zada was on one side, Johnny in his lap and Janet pressed up on Zada’s lap. Jack settled into the love he felt from them and pressed a kiss to each head and closed his eyes. He’d wondered more than once if happily ever after was what Daniel and he had. He didn’t know if his children could make it through everything that had happened to them: the fire, Malachi’s curse and so on but Zada was telling the truth. Jack and Daniel’s ‘happily ever after’ from the mouths of babes, not just any babes but their babes; wasn’t just the moments of happiness but also the times when it wasn’t easy but they stuck around to make it work. If Zada and the others truly believed that then they were really their favorite story then it all was going to be okay.

“I love you all so much,” Jack whispered gently into Johnny’s hair, pressing against the warmth of his wavy hair, something he got from his bio-mom and something that Daniel was loathe to cut every time he had to.

“We love you too Papa,” they said in broken uneven chorus and it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard. They didn’t spend the next couple of hours sitting and reading stories, in fact they only sat for a few more minutes before the younger children bounced up and started playing, leaving Jack to wrap an arm around Zada’s shoulder and pressed a kiss to her temple.

They watched as Johnny, Claire and Janet ran and played on the floor with various toys they brought with them. Jack didn’t have any ulterior motives or plans so he told stories and watched them race around. He didn’t know how long Daniel would be gone for so he sent the rest of the kids scurrying outside to race around while he put some sandwiches together for lunch and served it to them out on the porch, looking up when Daniel and Zale with a very hungry Malachi in his stroller. Jack accepted the squawking child and grabbed a plate that he made for the youngest child and started feeding him. Daniel and Zale accepted their plates gratefully.

“How was your walk?” Jack asked them.

Zale smiled a little shyly and nodded while Daniel munched on his food with a smile, “It was good though I would love to know when Zale gives you a shock.”

Jack choked on a bite then looked between Daniel’s grinning face and Zale’s guilty look, “It was nothing Daniel, I’m fine.”

Daniel glared at him for a moment, “That’s not the point love, Zale is my son too and this is something he is struggling with and the shock is just the latest in a long line of troubling thoughts and actions. Please don’t hide things from me.”

Jack gave a snappy salute, “It wasn’t intentional Daniel, I just wanted to have Christmas without all the drama of magic and whatnot.”

Daniel nodded, leaning down and pressed a kiss to Jack’s head and he smiled up at his partner. “Did you know that our children’s favorite love story is ours?” he whispered to Daniel in a stage whisper that had the other children snickering.

Daniel smiled and kissed Jack on the lips this time before he whispered, “Yeah? I’m glad the book survived then.”

Jack pressed his hand to the side of Daniel’s neck and smiled, “They love it no matter what happened in the last year. I think coming here was the right thing to do, to give us some time.”

Daniel kissed him again then straightened, with a hand on Malachi’s head for a moment before he pressed a hand to Zale’s shoulder who looked up and smiled at both of his fathers. “It’s my favorite story too Papa,” he whispered. “I’m sorry that I shocked you.”

Jack smiled at his son, “Z, I’m okay and I didn’t blame you. Everything has been so tough on you; we have all gone through so much and now is the time for us to keep living. We stay together and we learn how to get through the things that have happened.”

They sat together and finished their lunch, deciding on a game of tag which Daniel decided to take part in while Jack sat and laughed and watched his family be silly and free together. He held Malachi up on his feet, a little wobbly but getting better as he jabbered and cooed at his playing family. Malachi still wasn’t far enough along to be talking but every once in a great while, real words fell from his lips. “Dada,” he chirped as his eyes tracked Daniel’s movements around the trees and the surrounding area.

“Yeah, that’s Daddy,” Jack responded and Malachi turned in his hands pulling away from his Papa’s hands but almost falling in the process. Jack fumbled then quickly righted Malachi and hugged his son. He looked into his multi colored eyes and wondered again what his life would be like and glad that they would have a chance to see it. Jack pressed a kiss to the side of his head then turned him around again so he could see his Daddy making the little boy clap and giggle.

A couple hours of play left everyone exhausted and dirty so they stumbled into the house and cleaned up before relaxing in the living room for a story before dinner. Jack listened as Daniel told the story of one of their adventures; Zada and Zale were on the floor with a card game, listening to the story while Janet and Claire were on one side of Daniel and Johnny and Malachi were tucked in close on the other side of Jack. Pretty soon they weren’t going to fit on the same couch or in their very large bed and so Jack was going to enjoy it and the rest of this mini vacation before they returned to the Valley.


	5. Falsifying Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sale sees something he doesn't know how to deal with.

“Zale don’t do it!” Dad’s voice called out as Zale thrust his blade in through the man’s stomach and he stopped cold and dead in his tracks. He stumbled back to the ground as the blood ruptured from the wound he caused and watched as the man stumbled to his knees. He twitched, scuttling backwards on his butt and hands, shoving farther and farther with the pressure from his too small feet, realizing that he was remembering this but it was all wrong.

Daddy stood over him, a look or terror and anger in his eyes as he reached out and backhanded Zale across the face, his head snapping back from the pressure. He pressed a hand to the side of his face, the pain radiating there, “Dad?” he asked shocked.

“How could you do that? This is the moment when you started down a path we never wanted for you. This was the moment when Xylander caught a foothold in your heart and soul, this was where you failed your father and I!”

Zale shook his head, “No Daddy, that’s not what is happening. Please believe me. Please!”

Dad sighed, reached back to swing again so Zale reached out and slammed him back with power. He cried out when Daddy’s body struck a tree and he heard a sickening crunch. Then he was still. Zale slapped a hand over his mouth then turned away, not wishing to see the trickle of blood from the corner of Daddy’s mouth or the ridiculous spreading of blood around the fallen body and there was Johnny. Zale’s little brother stood with a dagger in hand, made to look so much bigger because Johnny was still so small.

“Johnny, what is this?” Zale demanded, still reeling from the slap and his father lying against a far tree. Maybe his dad was right, there was nothing more he could do to stay on the right path.

 _“You did everything you could to use your powers, you killed Daddy and you are going to destroy everyone in your path before the end.”_ Johnny’s words bounced off the edges of his mind, sounding to loud and causing pain to ricochet as well. Johnny leaned down, pressed his small hand into Zale’s neck and shoulder then in a dangerous arc stabbed Zale in the chest with the dagger. He grunted, snapped up and screamed out into the darkness of the room.

Zale’s breath whooshed out as he searched the room for something from the dream if that was what it was. If it weren’t for Johnny in the other bed he wouldn’t have been able to center himself since they weren’t at home. He was at the vacation house with his family and the death of the man happened long ago, before the fire and everything with Malachi. It helped him but it wasn’t enough. He stumbled from the bed, clattering to the floor before righting himself only to hear Johnny wake up, _“Zale, what’s wrong?”_

He shook his head and stumbled out of the room, down the hall with his hands rubbing along the wall towards his fathers’ room and knocked. He tried desperately to stop himself from pounding on the wood in his fear but didn’t quite make it. “Daddy? Papa?”

He heard the fumbling beyond the barrier then it opened and Zale stumbled through into his Daddy’s arms. He shuddered into his father’s embrace that immediately moved him into the room and across the bed. Papa was there, with a quick arm around Zale’s shaking body. “Zale, what’s happening? What’s the matter?”

“I killed that man, I killed Daddy and Johnny killed me because there was nothing of me left. Nothing to save or salvage after I started down that path.”

“Z, what are you saying? I’m right here baby,” Daddy’s voice was a soothing balm to his overactive imagination, the sensation of loving fingers slipping through his sleep mussed hair and the press of a quick kiss to his temple, all loving and familiar. Papa was on the other side, a hand rubbing up and down his back offering comfort as well.

With another snap of vision Zale slammed them both away from him with his powers, the hateful sound to flesh striking hard wood walls reverberated in his ears and mind once more before he shook it off and his fathers were just holding him. He sobbed at the ironic sound of laughter in his head and his whispered words were the only thing attaching him to reality instead of nightmare, “Help me Daddy. Help me Papa. I cannot be the reason you two die. I won’t walk down that path, I won’t do it!”

Daddy pressed close, his forehead pressed against Zale’s temple while Papa’s arm stayed around them both for a few minutes before he heard Zada’s voice at the door and the melodious sound of her voice shifted the tension a little in the air, “Is he okay?”

“Go back to bed beautiful girl, we got this for now,” Papa said in his soothing father voice and Zale took great comfort in the fact he was using it now instead of the General tone. He didn’t use that tone unless they were in trouble. Zale hadn’t done anything, he hadn’t hurt his fathers and he wasn’t going to.

_‘You think that now but just remember the fight between you and Zada. You shocked Papa without even thinking about it. It will happen again and then you will wander down the path of warrior instead of scholar. Exactly where I want you. Soon they will no longer trust you and I will be all you have.’_

Zale sobbed even harder at the voice, it was cold and emotionless. It was the voice of a part of him that he hadn’t heard in a long time and he didn’t want to hear it now. He wanted his Daddy to hold him and tell him it was going to be okay and they were going to get through this.

“Come on and lay down Z,” Papa ordered in that loving voice that Zale could sometimes hear in his head when he needed the strength of his Papa with him. He fumbled backwards and settled on the pillows, keeping his eyes closed since it seemed like that was the catalyst for seeing things he didn’t want to see. He felt when Papa settled at his back, with just an inch between them, allowing him space that he’d found himself needing, as he got older. Daniel did the same but Zale couldn’t seem to stop himself from curling his body into a fetal position and tucking his head into Daddy’s chest, listening to the thump-thump of his father’s heartbeat.

His knees were pressed gently into Daddy’s stomach, one of his hands on Zale’s shoulder and the other over his head on the pillow with fingers running slowly through his hair once more. Zale relished the closeness, knowing it meant that the voice was lying to him. He grappled out behind him and held Papa’s hand, bringing it up onto his side and over his chest to feel it against the finally slowing thump of his own heart. His breathing started to slow finally and the sobs stopped wracking his chest with painful abandon.

“It’s okay Z, you’re here with Papa and me. We’re going to get you through this, take whatever time you need here with us. We aren’t going anywhere.” The sound of Daddy’s voice lulled him out of the panic and into a more restful sleep than he’d had in weeks. The words weren’t as important as the knowledge that his fathers’ were not going to go anywhere. He slept a dreamless sleep of knowing the truth; his fathers’ love for him was real and right here with him in the arms wrapped around and the emotions sinking into his skin.

 

Daniel felt as the tension released slowly from Zale’s slim figure. He was so small still, somewhere close to a foot and a half shorter than Daniel and Jack but right now he was so much smaller in their bed and between them. He pressed another kiss to Zale’s forehead, allowing the sensation of Zale’s warm breath whooshing across the center of his chest to soothe the fear inside. Daniel looked over Zale’s tucked head to see Jack looking at them, the shimmer of fear and tears reflected back to him. He had no doubt his gaze was showing Jack the exact same fear. He didn’t know what Zale was feeling so much anymore as he had found some independence and it was a beautiful to watch and also a little bittersweet. It left them in the dark a bit more these days.

He would take that over the heart wrenching sobs of a few moments before.

Jack moved his hand from Zale’s chest and rubbed the pad of his finger against Daniel’s cheek, catching the remnants of the tears that Daniel knew were still fighting for freedom on the edge of his lashes. “He thought he killed me Jack,” Daniel finally whispered.

Jack nodded and returned his hand to Zale’s chest and felt when their son settled a little more at the contact. “Maybe this is our chance to see him through so much of what happened. We haven’t really had the chance to talk to him about anything.”

Daniel looked down at the head tucked into his chest, “Can he stay with us here while he’s having nightmares? I don’t think I can ever open the door to that ever again. He was petrified Jack.”

“I know Danny and if he has to sleep with us for another year, I will happily do so to see him safe and healthy.”

Daniel smiled tremulously at the easy acceptance of giving up their privacy for the sake of their child, “I love you Colonel Jack.”

“I love you too Danny, now sleep. We still have a passel of children who would like to enjoy the rest of our time here. Zale has what he needs; we’re here for him. Sleep.”

Daniel didn’t think that was going to happen so he just pressed his nose into the sweet smell of his son’s hair, moving until his cheek was resting on the crown of Zale’s head. He kept his hand moving through Zale’s hair while his other hand slipped close to wrap around Jack and Zale’s hands. Jack shifted a little so Zale’s hand was clasped between both of their hands. He listened to the comforting sounds of Zale’s breathing, Jack’s breathing falling into a slow and calming rhythm while he could feel the heartbeat of his son under their joined hands.

Daniel tightened his hands around this boy that deserved to be a child a little longer, a single tear falling down his cheek and into Zale’s hair, never seeing the slight glow that arose from there as he calmed and closed his eyes against the self-recriminations that said he should’ve done something back when Zale killed that man. Now he would never be a little boy ever again and Daniel hated that he didn’t save his first born from that eventuality so now the only thing he could do is hold Zale and let his son know that they weren’t going anywhere.

With that thought resolutely settled in his mind, Daniel slipped into a light sleep. He shifted and moved whenever Zale did, feeling every movement and change in his breathing.

When Jack rose from the bed to get breakfast ready, Daniel opened his eyes and accepted a kiss to his mouth before Jack pressed another to Zale’s forehead and left the room. During the course of the early morning Zale spread out a little more and was still tucked into Daniel’s chest. He sighed as Zale stretched while he woke up too.

“Daddy?” he whispered.

“I’m here Zale, right here,” Daniel croaked back while he did some stretching of his own. Being tucked around Zale for half the night caused a crick in his back, he pressed a hand to his lower back as he stretched again and felt when Zale moved away a little.

“I didn’t mean to freak out like that, I’m sorry,” Zale whispered as he sat up and pulled his knees close in an awkward self hug that looked achingly familiar to Daniel, something he’d seen in the mirror more than once especially before Jack and coming here.

Daniel moved a little closer and wrapped an arm around his son’s shoulder and shook him a little. “No need to be sorry Zale, you had a pretty vicious nightmare and I don’t want you to ever be sorry for coming to us.” He paused, “Can you tell me about it?”

Zale pressed his head back into the crook of Daniel’s neck and nodded, “I saw the day I killed the man to protect you and JJ, I saw you hit me and say that I had started down a dangerous path. You were about to hit me again and I threw you into a tree. I think I killed you, then I turned and Johnny stabbed me. That wasn’t the worst though.”

Daniel sighed, “What was the worst Z?”

“When you were holding me, I felt like I did it again, threw you and Papa against the walls and hurt you. Xylander wants me to be the warrior I was born to be, for some reason he wants to separate me from you and Papa. He thinks I am weak if I am loved by you and this family.”

Daniel sighed, “We’ve been over this before Z. Papa and I are never going to stop loving you.” Daniel lifted his other hand to the side of Zale’s face and neck and reveled in the warmth he felt there, knowing that they were both here and alive and together. The only thing from his dream that was real was that Zale killed the man to protect his little brother and his father. Everything else was a dream; he thought those things and passed them on through the bond they shared and the physical touch between them.

“You keep on coming to us and we will tell you as many times as you need to hear it, I love you Zale Charles Jackson-O’Neill and I am never going to stop. You didn’t kill me and you didn’t hurt Papa. You did what you had to do that day because I couldn’t and I can never be sorry enough for that. Everything else was a lie that your mind is playing tricks on you. Promise me you will keep coming to me or Papa when you see things and you don’t know if they’re real.”

Zale nodded and stayed where he was for another minute then Zada was walking into the bedroom, her hair in a messy braid down the side of her head, soft pants on her thin legs and a sweater wrapped around her body, looking sleepy but very worried. Daniel nodded to her and she bounced into the room and wrapped herself around Zale’s other side and her brother immediately went to her arms, gripping the back of her sweater reflexively. He wasn’t crying so Daniel pressed a hand to the back of Zale’s neck, then leaned down to kiss Zada’s head, “Come down when you are ready for breakfast.”

They nodded though it looked like they weren’t quite ready to leave the bed so he grabbed his robe and walked out, thankful that Zale and Zada had each other. They were stronger together, that was for sure. Zale wouldn’t be alone in this; they would all be there for him, same way they were all there for Malachi.

He walked down the hall and found Johnny, Janet and Claire all smashed together on one of the beds in the girls’ room and he walked in, “Hey guys, you ready for some breakfast?”

“Zale going to be okay?” Claire asked quietly, like she was worried about her big brother hearing her words.

“Of course he’s going to be okay, we’re all together here and we’ll get him through this. Just be careful, no sparring with him for a little while okay?”

Claire and Janet giggled, the happy burst of sound a balm to the worried father in Daniel, “That’s Zada’s problem. They are always scuffling. We just wanna play, not fight.”

Daniel grinned, pleased that his younger children were happily remaining children for longer than Zale and Zada had been given. He was sure that came back to the Magis in their minds but also Daniel’s inability to protect them from various things when they were younger.

Magic saved their lives, gave them the chance to have this life together but in some ways, it had done more damage to his beautiful daughter and son and he wished sometimes that he could take it all away and let them be children first and not Vannas first.

“Come down for breakfast okay?” he said instead and walked back to his bedroom, finding Zada and Zale gone and their voices murmuring downstairs, mixed perfectly in with Jack’s deep timber. He walked in and lifted Malachi from his crib, moving him over to the bathroom, changing his diaper quickly before he redressed him in his one piece and jacket with some rubber soled boots. Daniel carried him down and they settled around the breakfast table to enjoy a meal together. He was pleased to see Zale smiling a little, not faking it for the sake of his family but content to be among them anyway. Daniel helped Malachi eat breakfast while he thought about what this trip meant for all of them.

And maybe, just maybe five days wasn’t enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, I can't deal with only fluff. Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and I cannot wait to see where this little story might take us.


	6. Making a Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zale's magical version of PTSD is striking, making things very hard on him and the family.

It was hard not to watch over Zale for Jack, it was almost impossible in point of fact. He watched his son hold it together through breakfast, one hand tightly clasped with Zada’s hand and Daniel barely keeping from jittering out of his seat in stressed anticipation. Jack didn’t know what his son needed, didn’t know how to help Daniel deal with the guilt and self-flagellation that went with not being able to do away with the man that Zale had to kill. He figured that each of them would require something different and he would have to wait to find out. After everything was cleaned up from breakfast, most of the kids settled in the living room, to play card games and watch Malachi waddle around the room. Jack stayed in the kitchen, giving Zale and Daniel space. Watching father and son together touched Jack’s heart, hearing the shuddering gasps on the other side of the door the night before had scared him more than he could possibly explain. When Daniel opened the door and he watched Zale fall into his dad’s arms it was hard not to climb out of bed, find a non-existent gun and shoot whatever was freaking his son out.

“What you want to do Zale?” Daniel asked gently, rubbing a hand down the back of their son’s neck and scrubbing into Zale’s scalp.

Zale shrugged and Jack rubbed into the contact, “Can I just be with you and Pop today, I can’t close my eyes without seeing…” his voice cut away slowly on the words and Jack wanted to walk over and hug him again. Zale was thirteen years old and yes he was born into a world with magic and fighting and being a warrior is important but the fact that he was scared of being honest with his fathers then there was something so wrong with that and the world they were living in that it caused the Papa Bear in him to flinch and tense.

“Zale, we are here for you no matter what. Zada can watch the others for part of the day; Dad and I can trade off. Whatever you need okay bud?”

Zale nodded and in a move that was so much like a dog, it was oddly endearing, Zale pressed his cheek to Daniel’s throat and snuffled into his Dad while Daniel curled in around him again, hand to the back of their son’s neck. Zale got up quickly, leaving Daniel gripping at nothing while Zale walked over and did the same to Jack for a moment before walking out of the kitchen and headed back upstairs. Jack or Daniel would follow in a moment but first Jack walked over and took Daniel’s hand where it was still held out over nothing. He settled on the bench next to Daniel each of his legs over the bench and around Daniel who pressed his shoulder in close to Jack’s chest.

“I don’t think it’s enough,” Daniel whispered into Jack’s neck. He pressed a hand over Daniel’s neck, pressing his thumb to the pulse threading under the skin and waited for Daniel to finish his thought.

When Daniel didn’t continue Jack asked gently, “What’s not enough love?”

“Five days, I don’t think it’s enough. I think that the island, the Queen and everything is going to do more harm than good right now. Zale needs us and love, not magic and warrior people telling him what he did and what he might have to do before the end is always going to be good for them, not him. I didn’t say it Jack but I think we need this more than you originally thought. I don’t think five days is going to be long enough.”

Jack sighed and thought back on the last couple of years in the Valley and what they’d gone through. It wasn’t that everything that happened to them was bad, Jack and Daniel had a good life with their children in the Valley but the magic and the fighting was hard on kids, especially ones who were being raised with Daniel and Jack as parents. Jack might work in a soldier capacity, had been doing so for a good chunk of his life but it wasn’t the same as eat, sleep and breathing the warrior mentality. It was something that had taken time to sink in, that though he could develop and live a life in the Valley, it wasn’t something he necessarily wanted for their children. Daniel had even a harder time with it because he wanted their children to honor life, to learn and be amazed by the world they existed in. Daniel too had become a warrior, a fighter willing to kill for the sake of their family but it wasn’t what he wanted either and now Jack could finally click into understanding that maybe, just maybe they were better off with a little distance.

That’s what Daniel was talking about, they had been living in a world where their parenting skills and values were rubbing up against the culture they lived in and everyone was coming up with road rash from it.

This little vacation might be more than a vacation, it could be a chance to find something that was sorely missing in the last couple of years.

Balance.

Jack sighed and kissed Daniel’s head, “How are we going to pull it off? Its not like we have the necessities to continue living here. We are all cramped here and they are going to miss their friends and Grandpapa and everything from home.”

“I don’t think they are going to miss it right away. It’s been too long since they had our undivided attention and a whole load of peace as well. Let’s just see if they start asking at the five day mark and we’ll go from there. We can contact the queen, get some more supplies but I think we need this Jack.”

“Then we’ll figure it out Danny,” with that he pressed another kiss to Daniel’s temple and released him. Daniel walked into the living room and asked if everyone was doing okay and with their assent, he followed after their disturbed son. Jack fought against the driving need to follow in his partner’s footsteps, to curl in around them as a protective barrier against anything that might hurt them but he had five other children that deserved time and energy just as much as Zale. Daniel was with him, they would call if either needed him so for now he would continue with the day’s worth of spoiling all of his children, and letting them have as much fun and childhood crammed into the time they had here.

If Daniel was right and they all needed this more than he originally believed, then they would let the fifth day pass by without a word spoken. They all had friends and lives back home, Zale and Zada both had magical training because they were on the cusp of becoming ‘adults’ by Vannas standards but for now, they were just the Jackson-O’Neill’s and Jack was more than okay with that.

“Can we go for a walk Papa?” Zada asked.

Jack smiled, strained because he didn’t want to leave the house and Zale but Zada and the other kids deserved his attention. He nodded and watched as they cheered and scampered off to get ready with shoes and Zada would grab the stroller so Jack left her with Malachi and walked up stairs to find the door to his bedroom closed so he knocked and Daniel invited him in. He wouldn’t normally pause but Zale was more important than his territorial ownership over the bedroom. He found Zale tucked into the pillows and the headboard, arms wrapped around his legs with Daniel’s hand pressed into his white-knuckled grip.

“The other kids want to go for a walk, you two going to be okay here or do you want me to stay?”

Daniel looked to Zale who shook his head, then nodded like he didn’t know what to say or how to answer, there was terror in his eyes briefly stumped by the knowledge that both of them were here at the moment but letting Jack out of his sight was causing some internal struggle that he didn’t want to admit to. “You should go Papa, come back soon though?” he whispered the last, like he was embarrassed by the need to say them. Jack walked over and pressed a kiss to Zale’s forehead before he took and gripped Daniel’s hand gently. Zale released his arms and pulled Jack down for an awkward hug that he sank into for a moment before he headed back out the door, only able to let go because Zale was with Daniel and they would be waiting for him to come back.

“I love you Z, you’ll be safe here with Dad.”

He didn’t look back, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to walk out if he did, walking back down to find Malachi grinning from his stroller, Zada standing next to the handlebars. Janet, Claire and Johnny were bouncing around waiting for them to get started. Jack slipped on his boots, and headed for the door. He didn’t know the terrain very well so they wouldn’t go out of sight distance from the house but he could at least let them roam for a little while and that’s what they did. Janet and Claire raced in and out of trees, Johnny tried to climb a couple, hanging from the low branches like a little monkey, his high giggles a welcome soundtrack to the day. Janet and Claire were laughing and prancing around, adding to the sounds of happy, Malachi shrieking and watching his siblings appear and disappear out of his range of sight and Zada was quietly walking at Jack’s side.

He bumped her gently and she looked over enough to smile at him. “You okay?” he asked her gently.

“Just worried about Zale, I’ve never felt what he’s feeling right now. When we share emotions, when he’s in my mind I can sense the sadness and desperate hatred he’s feeling for himself. He’s never wanted the warrior life, he’s too much like Daddy for that. Are we going to help him Papa?”

Jack smiled sadly, wrapping an arm around her slight shoulders, “Of course baby girl. Do you need anything?”

Zada shook her head, “I just need him to be okay. Whether we were in two wombs or one, he’s my twin and my best friend. I need him to be okay.”

“Us too sweetie,” Jack said and leaned down slightly to press a kiss to her barely contained mass of curls. She was so beautiful it made his heart hurt sometimes. Janet and Claire will still so young and vibrantly innocent but with Zada especially with her coloring, it wasn’t hard to imagine they were going to be sending boys away from the door soon enough. He didn’t think he was ready for that so most of the time, he just tried to push the thought away but with her looking and sounding more like her bio-mom meant that maybe what she was going to need soon wasn’t something they could provide.

“You know,” Zada whispered, making Jack think that she was going to pull one of those incredibly insightful things out from nowhere or possibly from his mind because of their contact. “After everything that happened with Desire and Lust, I think that I can go to Aunt Sam and Aunt Demi for any girl questions but the rest of it, I don’t need something else from someone else. You and Daddy are always exactly what I need.”

Jack tugged her closer for a second, “You know whenever everyone else does that mind reading thing, it creeps me out but when you do it or Zale or the other kids, then it’s just part of our family.”

Zada smiled and leaned into Jack’s side comfortably, “I don’t need to read minds or emotions to know what you are thinking when you have that facial expression. You have that face whenever you think about me growing up, needing more. I just want you to know that I have everything I need from you and Daddy, plus my aunts, I don’t need more than that.”

“You will let me know if that changes?” Jack asked, using his tone as a loving caress. His hand was still rubbing a comforting rhythm into her shoulder and arm while they walked. They easily went back to watching the other kids run around for a little while, when they were dirty and tired Jack headed back for the cabin, glad that he’d kept it over his shoulder the whole time.

They arrived at the front door just has he heard a shout, handed Malachi off to Zada and rushed inside just as the shout tripped into screaming that thankfully hadn’t been preceded by a gunshot but it was still enough to push Jack’s heart into his throat. He took the stairs quickly and slammed into the bedroom and found Zale crouched on the bed, hands over his ears as he screamed. Daniel had an arm around his son’s crouched shoulders and Jack moved over to the bed, “What happened?” he shouted over the screaming. The sound short-circuited at the sound of Jack’s voice and his son rose to grapple for Jack’s hands. He leaned down and wrapped his arms around Zale’s shoulders, to pull him in close and shushed him gently. The screaming quickly stuttered and stopped while Jack rubbed his hand up and down Zale’s back, “You’re okay. What happened?”

“I saw you dead, you and Daddy. I killed you both because you wouldn’t let me be what Xylander wants me to be. I threw you down, crushed your bones and you weren’t here. I freaked,” the words were all stuttered in between sobs and gasps before ending in a long drawn out gasp of terror.

Jack sighed, wondering if this was going to continue even as he pressed a hand against the back of Zale’s neck before coming back up and running fingers gently through his son’s soft hair. He was left wondering if Zale would just continue to get more and more of these hallucinations until their son was so terrified that he couldn’t leave Daniel and Jack’s sight?

“I’m here son, you didn’t kill me. You didn’t do that, I promise. You wouldn’t do that, Hun.”

Zale nodded into his neck and he listened as Zale quieted gently. Jack waited, keeping the gentle pressure at the back of his son’s neck. After a few more minutes of awkward holding Zale released his vice grip hold on Jack. He resettled Zale back down on the bed, watching as Zale’s eyes shifted closed like he was resting but his body was shaking tremulously. Jack tucked Zale’s hair back and away from his son’s forehead before he looked over at Daniel who was in his self-hug pose. He was shifting his weight back and forth while his eyes never left Zale’s form on their bed. Jack walked around the edge of the bed and grabbed Daniel in a tight hug, forcing him to stand still and lean in close.

“Hey, how are you?” Jack asked, figuring the stupidity of the question would knock Daniel out of the terror and anguish he was trapped underneath at the moment. Daniel’s snort of laughter told Jack he was on the right track.

“He was doing okay then it was like something took him over, he grabbed his head and started chanting ‘no no no’ over and over again then you came in. He was screaming again and I couldn’t stop it. He was sure you were gone, thank god you came back when you did.”

Jack shrugged but did not speak flippantly, “It’s what I do. I am always going to be here for you guys. Just go see to the other kids, I’ll stay with him for a little while.”

Daniel paused, like he didn’t think he could leave Zale, “Jack.”

“I am not going anywhere and your other children need you too,” Jack reiterated gently, not using his tone or words to tell Daniel what he should be doing but he figured some time with the others would help bring him off the terror cliff he was trapped on right along their son.

Daniel nodded, pressed a kiss to Jack’s mouth before he leaned down next to the bed and whispered something into Zale’s forehead before he pressed another kiss there. Then he headed for the door. He stopped there on the edge and looked back to the bed before he walked out completely. Jack turned back to the bed, moved to sit on the bed next to Zale and welcomed it when Zale pushed his face into Jack’s leg as if to hide from the rest of the world. He pressed a hand over Zale’s head and just started talking to him, allowing his voice and tone to calm his son. It took him back to all the times they had rocked all the kids to sleep, but more specifically holding Zale through all the pain and agony of learning he had an awakened Magis in his head. He remembered all the time when they weren’t sure they were ever going to be what Zale and Zada needed because they weren’t magical but time after time, Daniel and Jack had been there for Zale and the others.

So he stuck to what he knew, he ran his fingers through Zale’s hair and whispered gently to him. He waited for Daniel to come back in, and he did follow closely by all the other children and they were in need of some reassurances as well. Everyone climbed into the bed, touching Zale a little here or there before they settled into the bed. Daniel and Zada were closest to Zale on the other side while the rest of the children were curled up at the end of the bed. Malachi was sitting in Daniel’s lap, passed from his arms to Jack’s then later when Zale was calm enough, he held his little brother as well for a few minutes, cuddling him close.

Their stomachs determined when they should venture out of the bedroom again, eating something in the bedroom before Jack was left alone with Zale again, Daniel deciding to spend some time with the other kids for the afternoon. Jack and Daniel talked about checking in since too long without seeing both parents seemed to exacerbate the condition so every thirty to forty minutes; Daniel would come and let Zale see him. It wasn’t treated as a problem or an inconvenience, Daniel would walk in and hop onto the bed to hug Zale or kiss him on the forehead. He would ask their son how he was feeling and in getting a response, he would move back out of the room once more. This seemed to keep the hallucinations down and he was able to get some sleep for much of the afternoon.

There was no question later that evening when the other children were settled into their beds, when Zale looked terrified at the prospect of leaving their room that he would be staying in bed with them. Jack just smoothed back his hair, tucked him into bed and followed with Daniel. Zale stayed in between them again but he wasn’t curled into Daniel this time. He settled easily, knowing they weren’t going to leave him alone. Jack watched as Daniel scrubbed his fingers through Zale’s hair gently, allowing the contact and the calm of the room seep into all three of them and one more day came to a close with nothing to show for their time besides a traumatized son while at least the rest of their children were doing much better. Jack had seen that happen on the walk, watching the giggling love for life develop in the twins and Johnny. Zada was worried but she was handling it better than they were.

They would get through this with Zale, they just needed more time.


	7. Night Time Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zada is awake.

Zada sat on her bed, holding Malachi in her arms and staring down at his sleepy features. Her legs were folded under her, so she could put his butt down in her lap comfortably. The little wink of green and blue eyes whenever he tried to stay awake instead of just succumbing to the light sway she was performing while sitting cross legged caused the slight smile to lift her lips. After the curse had been lifted, he’d turned out to be the happiest child in the family, Janet and Claire’s screaming matches as infants were stuff of torture and legend. Johnny’s night terrors had placed him in a league all his own even while they had understood. She and Zale had their own problems of course but she didn’t remember the screaming and shouting on their end. It was interesting to think that the weakest of them all was the one who had peace now; he was safe in the knowledge that his parents and siblings would protect him.

And now Zale, screaming and shouting into the silence of night in the vacation house was the reason she was keeping Malachi, his crib moved into her room with Claire and Janet. The girls were asleep already, cramped into the small bed instead of sleeping separately. Zada shook her head at the silliness but couldn’t stop the swell of love over them either. They had always been like that, inseparable. It would be a journey for them to become unique and independent if it ever happened. Zada figured it would but she couldn’t be sure.

She wished beyond any silly girlish fantasy that she might have once had that she could take away the pain in her brother. Zale had never been a very good pragmatic warrior, and he really did take after Daddy in that way. She had watched Daddy struggle with doing the things he had to do when Papa couldn’t fight for him. She didn’t really worry so much about it, she understood what was necessary in this world and culture they lived in. She wondered more than once over the last couple of years how Daddy and Papa had learned to live with the other’s basic differences but then Zale was her best friend and there was nothing she wouldn’t do for him and they were day and night different sometimes as well. If Daddy and Papa’s retelling of their story could be believed, and since it was retold by Daddy she had no doubt of the truth in the words, then they had come together in a strange set of events that had nothing to do with being head over heels in love before they were dosed by Love.

Daddy and Papa had both had feelings for the other but they had been happy with friendship then they had come to this world and time and here they were now over a decade later. In the beginning she knew things had been different. She knew about the fights, better than most of her siblings.

She had heard some nights when Daddy hated what Papa was doing, accepting jobs from the Queen that were more ‘Black Ops’ as Papa called them, this was when she was around three or four. She remembered the times when Papa would be spitting mad because Daddy didn’t listen and he was giving the wrong people the benefit of the doubt and he would end up hurt for it. She remembered all the times when they weren’t blissful in their acceptance of each other, when they had to work to be happy together.

But now as she watched them once again put aside everything in favor of helping Zale get better, after doing the same thing for Malachi and they did it for both her and Z when they were younger. They did it with Johnny and the girls, though the girls rarely needed it but she felt in her heart that this was what love was. There were stories and tales of romantic love, but the way her fathers were; that was genuine and it proved positive and had worked wonders in her life since she was a small child. From the moment they were born, Daddy and Papa had been giving up everything for them over and over. She wished and hoped that someday she would find a partner that she could fight with and for.

She didn’t understand why she was suddenly caught up in this mental merry-go-round, just that it was late and she should be asleep, Malachi was asleep in her arms but she couldn’t seem to put him into his crib. Zada’s desperation to hold her brother close when clearly what she wanted was to hug Zale was apparent. She wished to blank the pain and fear from his mind transferring to her youngest brother.

Zale’s scream shocked her, though it really shouldn’t have. She shushed Malachi before she went to put him down, called to her parent’s bedroom by the cries of her brother. When Malachi was settled, she moved silently towards their bedroom door and pressed her hand to the door and listened as Daddy’s soothing voice lulled Zale back down from the anxiety and the nightmares. Papa’s voice intermingled into the soft current from within the room and she had no doubt they would talk him down and see him through this.

 _‘Do you wish to hear them? You can, you know?’_ the soft lilting voice of her Magis asked her and Zada nodded, waiting as the words became more clear. Zale had yet to tell her why he was suffering nightmares and she just wanted to know how to help him.

“We’re right here Z, we’re not dead. Okay?”

Zada frowned; she had no idea that he was still thinking about that. She knew how hurt Zale was about the man but that was years ago; she didn’t understand why this was coming out now.

“Ignore the voices in your head, okay love. Right here.”

Zada pressed closer to the door and thought about Xylander, the voice her brother lived with before she mouthed ‘I love you’ to the door before heading back to her bedroom. It didn’t look like anyone else was awake so she walked downstairs and curled up on the couch and asked the only being she felt she could ask about this, “Is there a chance Xylander is showing Zale something? Showing him that he killed Papa or Daddy?”

_‘Of course, I have the ability to make you see something that is not happening and so can Xylander. I do not understand why he would do such a thing though.’_

Zada curled around the pillow on the couch, wrapped a blanket around her shoulders and tucked into the arm of the plush fabric. She stayed that way for an undetermined amount of time, watching the darkness of the room layer and deepen as the hour became later. She didn’t know if it had transitioned to early morning when she heard someone on the stairs and blinked as she looked in that direction.

Papa was walking towards her, rubbing a hand through his graying hair when he saw her. He walked over and settled next to her and pressed her close to his side, “Are you okay sweetie?”

“I just want to see him get better,” she whispered gently.

“I know baby,” Jack whispered back, pressing a kiss into the side of her head. Zada shifted a little and pressed her face into his shoulder, taking in the scent of her Papa and the slight mixture of Daddy and family. It was home and warmth and she savored it.

“What’s happening to him?” she finally choked out.

“He is hallucinating, seeing not only the truth of killing the man to protect Daddy and Johnny from a couple years ago but things that didn’t happen. He is seeing himself damage and even kill Daddy and me. He sees it when he’s asleep and sometimes when he’s awake.”

Zada sighed, it was what she had worried and wondered about. “Sarafina told me that she could easily make me believe something that wasn’t happening, I think it is possible that Xylander is a part of this, which means only a Magis and Zale can correct the problem.”

“Goddamn magic,” Jack whispered, anger seething from his pores in waves. Zada should have pulled back at the depth of the pain and anger in him but honestly, Papa’s response to magic had never really changed. He didn’t like it but they had always known they were more than their powers and their parents’ loved them, all of them. Even this.

Zada couldn’t help the smile that stretched her face comfortingly, she could depend on her Papa’s ability to make her smile or make her feel fiercely protected. She could also depend on Daddy’s never ending compassion and selflessness.

“Do you remember the arguing with Daddy?” Zada asked quietly, sometimes she wondered if after all the years together if the bad was just so outweighed by the good that her parents just pretended those times didn’t exist or they chose to focus on something else.

“You are going to have to be more specific baby girl, Daddy and I argue a lot.”

She snickered into his shoulder before she spoke again, “There hasn’t been much since you were carrying Malachi,” Zada said gently, that had been the last time and plus it didn’t really count in Zada’s opinion, “And it was even longer before that, when we were in the past. I think all the fights about Malachi could be about the curse, not your relationship.”

“I don’t know if all the fights were because of the curse, they were just made worse by the curse.”

“But see, that is the point I am trying to make I think. You don’t really fight, not anymore but when I was around three years old there was a lot of fighting. Do you remember then?”

Papa sighed; rubbing his fingers over his face and into his eyes and finally whispered, “We were struggling, it was right after the twins and Johnny were born. I was being obstinate and so was Daddy in other ways. Why are you even thinking about that?”

Zada shrugged and slid in closer, “Just thinking that it didn’t matter about all the fights, I just remember being loved and cared for. The fighting didn’t make that go away, nothing ever made that stop so I know that Zale is going to get through this and I don’t need to save him. The love we share, that’s going to keep him grounded.”

Papa leaned over and pressed another kiss to her head and whispered there, “Then maybe we should go back to bed so we have some energy for the vacation silliness your sisters are going to undoubtedly pull tomorrow.”

Zada smiled and nodded and clambered off the couch, turning to help Papa as well, he seemed to be slowing a little at a time, nothing outwardly concerning, just the aches and pains of a mature man. She wrapped her slender arm around the Papa’s back and she accepted another kiss to her temple before tugging him down a little to kiss his cheek. Papa paused with a hand on her cheek and she could see the slight sheen in his eyes.

“You are growing up so fast, it hurts sometimes a little.”

Zada pressed a kiss to the inside of his palm before she pushed him towards his bedroom door, “I love you Papa. You are always what we need.”

He nodded before he opened the door and walked in, Zada caught a quick glimpse of Zale pressed close to Daddy’s side. Zale was still and asleep, Daddy looked over and smiled at Papa and wiggled his fingers in a little wave and Zada couldn’t stop herself from walking into the bedroom and around to the far side of the bed and leaned down and pressed in close for a hug. Daddy hugged her back tightly, whispered gently, “He’s going to be okay baby girl. We all have him.”

“Love you Daddy,” she whispered back, pressed a kiss to his cheek and rushed back out of the room again, closing the door on the way out. She sighed, releasing the desperate and sudden need to burst into happy/sad tears then Zada climbed back into her bed glad that her entrance awakened none of her siblings. There was nothing else she could do except try and sleep, be ready for whatever morning brought for all of them.


	8. Losing Self

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zale's story continues

Zale came awake with a gasp, sitting up and breathing heavily from the vision of Papa on the ground, blood pool growing outwards from the wound in his chest, Zale’s breathing rattled in his chest after the on and off screaming for the last couple of days.

They were supposed to go home today and he wondered if it would make it easier or harder to ignore these thoughts and visions. All he knew was that he didn’t want the rest of the world to flood back into their day-to-day life. He might miss his friends and Grandpapa sooner or later but this morning, he just wanted his siblings and his fathers.

Suddenly a hand slipped along his back and over his shoulder as Papa came awake, Daddy right behind him. Zale squeaked in surprise as Papa whispered soothing wordless noises, and he flinched away at the immediate vision of back handing his fathers away from him. He squeezed his eyes closed, rubbing into them harshly and waited for the panic to subside. Not surprisingly, it took time to release the tension in his shoulders, the claw like grip of his hands and the strain on the muscles in his arms and legs. He didn’t even notice Papa massaging his shoulders for several minutes, only realizing what he was doing when the tension started to leak out of him.

“Whatever you saw isn’t real Z-Man, be here with us okay?”

He nodded, pressing his hands close around his stomach as he felt the shaking shift into a something stronger like he was trying to vibrate right out of his fleshy shell. Then Daddy’s hands were pulling his arms away and holding them close and he couldn’t keep his eyes closed on the world anymore. He had to look at his parents, so he looked to the left where he knew he would find Daddy and locked on his face. At first there was nothing wrong, it was just his Daddy’s concerned face then it started shifting and aging. Zale pushed away as the skin weather and aged before his eyes and started to flake off. Zale shut his eyes and shoved his fingers harshly into the sockets, releasing a pitiful whimper as Daddy pulled him close and hugged him.

Zale focused on the fingers threading through his loose hair instead of the flashing pictures of death and blood. “Daddy,” he whispered brokenly. “Help.”

“Ah dammit!” Papa cursed and Zale would have loved to have it in him to make a joke about that except the tone Papa said the word in was so sad and scared that he didn’t want to bring any more attention to it. Clearly it was one of those moments that his Papa would have rather kept to himself but he didn’t seem to have the ability to leash his tongue.

“We need one of the crazy ones for this, don’t we?” Papa finally asked.

Daniel snickered, the sound more manic than humorous, “They are not crazy, Jack otherwise your daughter and son are too. And yes, I think we need to call for help on this, he’s been hurting for days now and nothing is helping.”

Zale shook his head, wavering in bed and against his Daddy’s arms at the sudden onset of dizziness but he wanted to say that they were helping, they were keeping him constantly here with their presence. He needed them, he didn’t need a magical fix it or a collar for Xylander. He didn’t think that was the answer but suddenly as if the next thing to go after his grip on reality his voice wasn’t there for his use. He opened his mouth a couple of times, attempting to force out something besides the grunt and gasp of surprise or the quick exhalation of air. This was what Johnny had felt his whole life, Zale wished he was well enough to hug his younger brother all of a sudden.

Daddy moved away enough to look at Zale though the boy didn’t know for sure since his eyes were still squeezed shut. “Zale?”

He shook his head, opening and closing his mouth before he pressed a desperate hand to his throat before he made a frantic bid to speak to them in his mind only finding a good chunk of his power cut off and he couldn’t communicate. He couldn’t speak or think the words he wanted to share with his fathers, he was alone in his head with a crazy Magis who was hell bent on turning him into a killer.

_‘Now now, do not be so melodramatic, I am only showing you what could happen if you do not accept that you are warrior, not scholar.’_

Zale ignored the calm voice in his head, one he hadn’t heard since the hallucinations started, undoubtedly Xylander had not wanted him to know in the beginning that it was him but that was clear to Zale now. His Magis had not learned from his previous loss of consciousness, Xylander was still a selfish and self-centered being looking to tell Zale what he was capable of instead of learning together.

He opened his mouth again and emitted a shuddering moan then pressed down onto the bed, grasping at the sheets and jerking it up and over his head. He felt Daddy lay down next to him again and curled his arms around him as he spoke to Papa in that soothing tone Daddy used whenever they were scared, “Get Zada, maybe she can hear him.”

Zale shook his head against Daddy’s chest, he needed silence and less people not more. He could feel Papa climbing out from the bed and he reached out and grabbed at some part of his father’s retreating body, opened his eyes and found the world normal once more, bathed in the shimmer of morning light. He loosened his hand a little from the death grip he had on his Papa and exhaled, opened his mouth and croaked, “Wait.”

The one word expelled against the force of magical barriers and sickness made Zale suddenly weary but he had to stay awake a little longer.

“Zale?” Daddy asked and he turned to look at his father, just seeing his Daddy again without the appearance of degraded before him. Zale couldn’t help but sigh in relief.

“I lost my voice, I think Xylander is separating me from my powers. He wants me to be a warrior, heartless and cruel. I think he believes it is the only way to survive.”

 _‘It is,’_ Xylander stated simply with a verbal equivalent of a shrug.

“All I know right now is I don’t want other people, more will just make it worse right now.”

“Us too?” Papa asked and Zale knew how much that hurt him to say but he would do what he must to protect their children. It was an easy choice for Papa and Daddy, despite the pain that choice would come with. They would have no qualms about getting off the bed and walking out if it was better for him.

Zale sighed and answered honestly, “I don’t want to be alone. I need you. No more people though, no queen or king or healers and no others with Awakened Magis. And I don’t think I could handle seeing Zada dying or dead, it is hard enough already that I see it for the two of you.”

“Okay Z, we’ll wait,” Daddy said and rubbed his hand over the back of Zale’s neck and over his shoulder. Zale settled into the easy connection between him and his father. Ever since Daddy took the connection from Lust, he had been a strong comfort to Zale because he could feel Daddy in the back of his mind. Right now he could sense the fear but it was dwarfed, made small, by the brilliant bursts of determination that they were going to be there for Zale and they were not going to give up ever.

The room fell into a strangely comfortable silence, no voices and pain and Papa whispered into the room, “Food?”

Zale and Daddy both nodded and Papa shifted up and away from them, then before he got very far he leaned over so he could press a gentle kiss to Zale’s forehead. Zale closed his eyes at the contact and pressed his head back into Daddy’s chest while Papa kissed Daddy and then walked out. A small part of Zale wanted desperately to see his siblings, he hadn’t gone this long without his brothers and sisters in a long time if ever.

Daddy leaned down and pressed a kiss to Zale’s head and he sighed contentedly. His hands fisted into the warm and soft fabric of his father’s shirt. Zale took in another deep breath and the words gusted out on his exhale, “Daddy, what if this never stops? What if I am destined to spend the rest of my life scared in a ball on your bed?”

His father pressed his lips to Zale’s forehead again, “Z-Man I know that it won’t happen. You are going to get through this and if you need to sleep in this bed with Papa and I forever then we will just have to get a bigger bed.”

“We have a bigger bed at home,” Zale whispered, though he didn’t really want to go back right away.

“Yeah about that—Papa and I talked about staying here longer, give ourselves some more time to regroup. Until you feel you need someone, I think we should stay on track with that.”

Zale nodded, “You should talk to the other siblings but I don’t want to go back. Everything back there is so loud and noisy and why do they always end up in our living room?”

Daddy chuckled, “Because you have a lot of friends and a fan club that doesn’t end. Stop being so awesome and maybe they wouldn’t come over.”

Zale laughed, first time in days and he cuddled close again. “It’s not me they come for, its about you and Papa.”

His father shook his head, Zale could feel the motion from above his head, “That’s not true Z, and you know it. Uncle Adrian and Aunt DK love you so much, they love us too but most time they would just steal you away for an afternoon in their home if they could get away with it. You are the sweetest boy a family could ever ask for and you were my first child, you healed Papa by being who you are. You are going to be such an amazing man, Zale. And you don’t have to be what Xylander wants you to be, find your voice okay my beautiful boy.”

Zale took in a deep breath, pulling in his fathers’ smell. They had only been that for about a week but the smell of Papa and Daddy were so intertwined and it sank into the sheets, a smell that brought home with him and it was a smell that was home for him. “Do you think I can see Johnny?” he finally asked, he couldn’t keep doing this but Zada would be too much right now. Johnny was special, with the fighting spirit and soul of Papa and the never-ending positivity of Daddy; he knew what it was like to not have a voice, literally and figuratively.

Daddy nodded, “Do you want me to get him now?”

Zale thought about the fact that Daddy would let go to leave so he shook his head.

“Papa can get him when he brings food for you, are you hungry?” Daddy asked and Zale shrugged, he’d been eating very little in the last couple of days. Zale knew it was just another concern for his fathers, one among many that Zale could do very little to change how he felt right now. He did want to eat something though and he thought he really wanted to see Johnny.

Silence fell gently over them, listening to the sounds of the house waking. Papa was downstairs getting food for everyone, the smell of cooking food and waking siblings. Zale smiled a little thinking about the twins racing around, getting dressed and giggling the whole while. He wondered if Zada still had Malachi or if the youngest of them had cheerfully landed in Papa’s hands by now. He couldn’t hear much of what was happening but then again he’d known them all for their whole lives, he could fill in the missing sounds.

So he closed his eyes and filled in the conversations and sounds of breakfast together and wished he could be there, he wanted to be with family and maybe that’s how he had to find a balance, doing what always comforted him. He needed to be with all those who loved him, be deeply assured of the fact that he wasn’t going to kill them. He would never do anything to hurt his siblings on purpose.

“Maybe we can go down instead?” Zale whispered.

“Yeah?” Daddy asked gently.

Zale nodded and sat up, closing his eyes and forcing out all the visions and voices. Daddy helped him get dressed in a sweater, trying to shake off the uncontrollable shudders from the cold of the room and from the fear in his heart. Daddy pressed his bare feet into socks and they walked out of the bedroom together, Zale on shaky legs from not being up for the last couple of days. He made it down to the base of the stairs and looked up from the floor when Papa stopped short with a plate held in one hand and a cup in the other. Zale watched the concern slip into relieved smile.

Zale took the plate, didn’t move away from Daddy’s gentle hold around his shoulders then walked into the kitchen to the boisterous acceptance of his siblings and tried for a wavering smile before he settled in to just listen as they talked around him, their voices pitched low because they knew he was sensitive to the loud noises. He didn’t have anything to say for now, just brought their voices into his head instead of Xylander’s taunts and words when they came which was very little during the meal so Zale just breathed deep and ate his food, stopping after half the food was gone then pushed it away. It was like a balm to his fathers though and now he was exhausted from breakfast.

“Will you come upstairs with me JJ?” he asked his brother who nodded with a smile and Zale waved off Papa’s help and walked back up to his parent’s room with Johnny behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, glad I can submit another chapter, I have no idea where this happens to be going to its a party. Haha.  
> Comment and Kudos please.


	9. Our Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny is going to try to help.

Daniel watched as Zale and Johnny walked upstairs and looked over to Jack, tears shimmering on his lashes. Jack smiled back at him, shifting enough to bring Malachi over into Daniel’s reach. Their son giggled and clapped when Daniel held him close, they hadn’t seen much of each other the past couple of days because of Zale’s attacks and as Daniel cuddled the boy he realized how much he’d not only missed Malachi but the rest of their children.

“Daddy, are we going home today?” Claire asked and Daniel looked to Jack quickly who nodded, saying nothing.

“We were thinking of staying here a little longer, we’ve had so little time to be just us and Zale needs this as much as I think the rest of us do. He wanted us to make sure that was okay with you guys but Papa and I pretty much decided before the hallucinations started that we need this.”

“We get to be together?” Janet asked, her fork slipping around her plate in a quiet need to do something in the moment. Daniel could understand that a little, she was his kid biologically speaking anyway and she had to contend with the very loud and chatty version in her twin Claire. He loved learning more about his daughter now that she was starting to learn who she wanted to be, they were still as close as can be but ever since they took on their bio-mom’s powers, Janet was coming out a little at a time.

“Of course,” Jack responded, bringing Daniel out of his sappy reverie.

“Zale is going to be okay?” Claire asked.

“We’ll get through like we always have,” Jack said and Daniel smiled.

“Together,” a broken chorus of kids’ voices finished the sentence and both parents laughed. Daniel finished his breakfast holding his son and speaking different languages with the other children and wondering if Zale and Johnny were doing okay.

When the food was demolished and the kitchen was clean, Daniel walked into to living room with Janet, Claire and Zada in tow and Malachi in his arms. He sat down on the floor and Jack sat in the couch so Daniel leaned easily against his knees. Daniel watched as Malachi struggled and wriggled down onto the floor and Daniel helped him to stand. The happy little boy looked around, focusing for a second on Daniel’s hands under his armpits then grunted while he tried to drop to his knees. Daniel released him gently, having no intention of forcing the little boy to do anything he wasn’t ready for, especially since his short life had already been filled with such pain.

Malachi immediately rolled from his knees back onto his butt and leaned down, holding himself in a crouched sitting position. Daniel smiled and pressed a hand over the top of his downy head before he turned and looked over his shoulder to Jack who was staring at the stairs but looked to Daniel quickly like he was embarrassed to be caught wondering the same thing he was. Daniel reached back and rubbed his palm up and down Jack’s leg in comfort.

Jack reached forward and pressed his fingers into the back of Daniel’s scalp in a comforting caress before they refocused on the kids in front of them. Malachi played with his soft toys, biting into them every once in a while and grinning his toothy grin when Janet or Claire would rub his head or speak to him. Malachi still wasn’t talking though he was making sounds and Daniel was happy about the fact that he was still resilient enough to try after his first several months of life had been so weighted in pain.

He remembered thinking about being a parent more than thirteen years before, taking that leap with Jack and knowing there were going to be hard times and good times but at the time the decision had been considered in the joy he felt when he was around other children or when he saw Jack with children. He couldn’t have guessed the life that he would live with Jack and after all these years he’s glad for the ignorance. It is quite possible that had he known about the pain his children would struggle with, Johnny with his mutism and the pre-cognition or Zale and Zada with the Magis inside their heads. It’s possible that if he had known all the things that he and Jack would go through together, he may have not even been willing to marry or stay with the man.

But he was glad he did.

Daniel had learned through those hard times, through the fights and pain and the loss that the love he shared with his husband or his children was divine, something of a spiritual awakening. That was something that he’d been so desperate for when he was on Helios and talking to Ernest about meaning of life stuff. At that time the meaning of life stuff was learning about what was plastered all over the ceiling in that room and seeing that knowledge passed on and he was ready to die for it, to make sure that it could be passed on and now he understood with sheepish acceptance how silly it was now to think that was everything to him. Holding Malachi in his arms after the months of demanding that Jack terminate his magical pregnancy was just one more proof that there was something bigger out there, something better than knowledge and more important than power. Malachi was alive because Jack had faith in something, not logic or himself, but something. They had all their children because Jack had faith in something; he’d had faith in them as a couple and that they had a future. All Daniel had to do now was keep believing in something that they had proof of, which was they could get through it all together.

That was meaning of life stuff and all he had to do was keep loving his family, Daniel figured that was where happiness was anyway. So no matter the pain and concern they would forever be going through with six children, Daniel knew that they were going to be going through it as a team. This time, the parts are bigger than the whole and Zale would need every single one of them.

 

~~~

 

When Zale closed the door behind himself and Johnny he immediately walked over to the bed and curled into the blankets and pillows there. He breathed in the scent of his father’s and looked over as Johnny walked over as well and sat along the bottom of the bed. Zale wondered if he would need to talk about something, if Johnny would just figure it out. He didn’t even know why he wanted to see Johnny, except that his little brother was one of the strongest and kindest souls Zale had ever known, much like Daddy.

 _‘Do you wanna talk or be quiet?’_ Johnny asked, using his telepathy, it was good to know that he’d learned to use that easily because sometimes it wasn’t easy for him. Zale remembered the screaming fits that were meant to warn them of things to come but it wasn’t enough before Johnny found a way to speak to them. The scream and the tantrums had looked full of angst instead of reason. Much like the way Zale felt these days.

It wasn’t all that surprising that Zale figured that Johnny would know best how he was feeling. “I don’t know anymore, what I need or want. I don’t want to watch them die over and over, I don’t want to lose myself in what Xylander wants and I can’t lose my ability to speak. I don’t know how you did it all those years and I don’t think I am strong enough to know. I’m not like you.”

Johnny crawled closer to him, wrapping his smaller body around Zale’s head, pulling his elder brother so his head rested in Johnny’s lap. Zale allowed himself to be moved and looked up where those light brown eyes were shinning back down to him and waited.

_‘You will never have to know the hardship that I have faced but I truly believe that this is something you are going to overcome. Zale, you are not me but you are strong and you are Daddy’s son. Live up to the hype, let go of Xylander’s ideas and accept yourself, he will fall silent in the face of your character.’_

Zale shook his head, tear slipping down the side of his face while Johnny slid his fingers down the trail and then did something that was so much like their fathers he couldn’t help but close his eyes and sink into the sensation as Johnny ran his fingers through Zale’s hair then started slipping his fingers over and around Zale’s eyes and face. Daddy used to do that when they were fighting naptime.

_‘So we’ll be quiet then.’_

Zale smiled at the words whispered into his mind and he sank into the feeling of fingers slipping over his face and through his hair and opened his mind to the thoughts and feelings shifting through the skin on skin contact with his brother. He didn’t hear Xylander and heaved a sigh of relief; there were no visions and no death. He took a deep breath and focused on the moment and thought about what Johnny told him.

Zale wasn’t Johnny but he could trust his brother, he trusted him when Johnny said that he could live through this. He could silence Xylander if he needed to and right now that’s what he needed to do.

_‘Do what you must Z.’_

Zale nodded and deepened his breathing, allowing each part of his body to relax into the bed. He focused on the warmth of the blankets and Johnny’s legs under his head and neck. He breathed in the scent of family and the silence sank into him and there was nothing to stop him from slipping into the mindscape where he met with Xylander more than once since he was very young. It was easier after years of practice, thank Zara for Uncle Teal’c and his meditation techniques that he used even without the symbiot in his stomach.

Zale opened his eyes to the forest, the trees all around wavering into focus like a dream. This was Xylander’s place in Zale’s mind, it was knocking on the Magis’ door but Zale knew they could no longer play the long game, not if he wanted to maintain sanity. With that in mind, he focused on the center of the open field as he appeared. Xylander looked the same as he always had since he doesn’t age as Zale does, his skin a slight greyish tinted brown like he was sick but the skin looked marbled. He had long hair that he wore in long braids down his back and over his shoulder. Zale knew his eyes were brown though he couldn’t see them at the moment.

“Xylander, I wish I could say it was good to see you but we both know that would be a lie.”

The Magis just smiled, “You are here anyway Zale and that is already what I want. I would go ahead and tell you my dastardly plan but since you are in my head and vice versa you should know it already right?”

Zale shook his head, “You know that’s not true, you have separation from my mind and I think its time to make that more two-sided. You have no right to dictate to what kind of man I am going to be. You have no right to dictate my life despite the life that we share. I am my father’s son and I am not you!”

Xylander chuckled and crossed his arms over his chest, “You believe you are not me but you are only kidding yourself. You were born with me in your head and heart, I am at your core and you are me!”

Zale settled into a crouch and took a deep breath, “This is always what it is going to come to with you, the fight. Right?”

“It is how we will survive,” Xylander responded with one resolute nod.

“Then show me why you are going to be the one who decides my life, spar with me and see who is truly at the core of my humanity, the child born to this body or the interloper who hid away inside the child and tried to destroy what he is!”

Xylander shook his head at Zale’s angry shout before he released the hold around his body and settled into a crouch for a moment before he came forward quickly. Zale moved forward as well, falling easily into the things that his father taught him, what his Uncle Teal’c and Uncle Adrian taught him. There was nothing Xylander could do to him magically here, they would be pitted against one another physically but in a way it wasn’t physical at all. This wasn’t a fight that would take place in the physical realm but his mind and so the strength here was one of character and Zale would use the words Johnny shared with him, the knowledge that he could decide what he saw and felt and experienced in the bond he shared with Xylander.

He stopped after a short moment and just waited, there was nothing to stop Xylander from slamming into him except for the fact that when Xylander’s flying fist would have crashed into Zale’s cheek it slipped ineffectually through him and Zale smiled. He waited while Xylander stared at him in shock; taking another couple shots at him with the same result before he waved his hand and Xylander flew back off his feet and hit the ground.

“You listen now to me Xylander, you can try to keep telling me who to be and what to do and I will box you up! Is that what you want? If you are boxed then I lose most of my powers and you will become nothing more than a voice with no power to do anything in this life. You will be nothing, is that what you waited years for?”

Xylander glared at him, shock still scrawled all over his face.

Zale just waited, standing his ground and thinking of all the times he’d seen one of his fathers’ like this, or Johnny or the twins. He’d grown up knowing he could be strong, that he came from strength and love, Zale just had to remember it.

“You think you can contain me!? I am a God, you stupid little upstart!”

Zale chuckled, crossing his arms, “Then do something about it right now, take over or something. Put me in a box if you dare but you know what I think Xy?” he asked as he walked over and crouched down, releasing his arms to press hands into the grass under him. “I think that you can’t do anything but make me see things and cut me from some of my power. I was born of magic on my mother’s side and believe it or not I would survive without you, my fathers taught me how to but I don’t think you can survive without me.”

Xylander scoffed and rose from his place on the floor and Zale did as well, and easily snapped his fingers and Xylander looked around to find himself in a very small cell, the bars tight enough that he couldn’t push his face through them, Zale didn’t like the idea of leaving him here like this but Xylander had proved more than once that he couldn’t be trusted and Zale was done giving the Magis all the chances to hurt him.

He could see when Xylander realized that he couldn’t escape the box he was in, the fear skittering across his features wasn’t something Zale had ever seen in all the years he’d had with Xylander. Zale took a deep breath, “I hate that it has come to this but you have only proven to me that you don’t care about me and I won’t have you hurting me, convincing me that I am bound to harming others especially those I love most in this world.”

“No, Zale…” he whispered, his voice wavering but there was nothing the Magis could say at this point. Zale turned and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and woke with his head on a pillow, Johnny sitting next to him and Zale looked around and found Papa and Daddy wavering right beyond the bed, Daddy was hugging himself and Papa was pressing an arm around Daddy’s shoulders.

“Zale?” Papa asked nervously.

Zale closed his eyes for a second and then looked again over at his parents and just saw their beloved faces. He smiled and snapped up off the bed and threw himself into their arms, listening as Daddy laughed which slipped into a sob as Papa soothed them both gently.

“I found it,” he whispered gently.

“What buddy?” Papa asked.

“My voice,” his voice broke on a sob and Daddy’s arms tightened around him imperceptibly and he felt when Papa kiss the side of his head and Daddy pressed one to his temple and he pulled himself as close to them as he could.

For the first time in months, maybe longer, he felt like he was really himself and as he looked back over his head and nodded to his little brother he couldn’t stop the smile and the sigh of relief.

He was home.


End file.
